Tired.

Hey guys and gals. It's been a while, huh? I need a bit of a rant moment, except I'm not mad or anything. I literally feel nothing right now. I am beyond emotionally exhausted. Literally, all of my emotions have been fully drained and what's left is a shriveled up, pathetic empty shell. If I went to sleep right now, I'm 100% sure I'd sleep for at least 14 hours straight. My head hurts. My back hurts. My shoulder hurts. My joints hurt. Everything hurts. Who knew being emotionally drained would be this physically painful..? The entire month of January has been a blur. I've been walking around for a month in a complete daze. My mind feels foggy. It's a strange thing to realize that an entire month has passed and I barely remember any of it. Here's a small glimmer of positivity: it can only get better from here.

Woah.

If my life could just chill out for like a day that would be great. Too much stuff is happening at once and its overwhelming as fuck. I just wanna sleep for a week straight.

The cold weather is bumming me out.
My allergies are bumming me out.
Having a bazillion doctors appointments is bumming me out.
The fact that my grandma is dying is bumming me out.
Family drama is bumming me out.
Feeling sick all the time is bumming me out.
Being awake right now is bumming me out.
Life in general is bumming me out.

Dumb people.

Nothing irritates me more than dumb people.
If I say "I can give you the number for the tech line" and your response is "you can't transfer me?" then I automatically hate you. No I can't fucking transfer you. I CAN GIVE YOU THE NUMBER TO THE TECH LINE. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF TRANSFERRING YOU WAS AN OPTION, I'D TELL YOU?!?1 Fuck. You.

Today's adventure.

My adventure began in the parking lot at work. I was leaving to go to the doctor and I saw a friend and stopped to say hi. He then said to another friend "Isn't she the hottest thing you've ever seen?" kinda made me feel good and then I felt awkward lulz. Then I was driving downtown and I saw a teeny tiny little car. I felt as if I could've picked it up and put it in my pocket. It wasn't one of those stupid clown looking smart cars though. This one was like, an old sports car or something. Idk. It was neat and cute and miniature. Next, I was walking downtown to my doctors office with my headphones in, so I couldn't hear anything. I had to walk past the a bus stop where there are usually people with questionable morals and attitudes.. I'm pretty sure this guy eye-sexed me and probably said something vulgar. Luckily I couldn't hear him or else I probably would've slapped him in his little hoodlum face. JK, I would've just ignored it and kept walking. Anyways, I got to the building and was in the elevator with some people. There was this super cute old couple and the lady kept smiling at me. As I got off on the 14th floor, I heard the lady say to her husband, "That girl had an earring in her nose!" She obviously noticed my septum ring because I flipped it back down after I left the office. Hahaha how adorable are old people, am I right? Next, I waited patiently in the waiting room and then my doctor came in. We discussed my shoulder problems. I'm gonna try physical therapy first and if that doesn't work, she's going to refer me to a shoulder specialist. I didn't even know that a shoulder specialist was a thing, but apparently it is. So that's pretty neat. Now I'm sitting in my car about to drive back to work. I'm legit contemplating a quick power nap.. I mean, I'm in a parking garage, no one will see me...? Nah, I probably should just suck it up and go back to work. I have a busy afternoon ahead of me. K, byeeeee.

Quick update to kill some time

My job freakin rocks. Despite the fact that I've been busy as fuuuck this week, I'm so incredibly thrilled with all of the stuff that I've been doing! This is gonna sound super lame (sorry not sorry), but like, I finally feel like I'm actually worth something to VP. Lame. Told ya. But really though.. My boss has been giving me some somewhat important shit to do. So that's pretty neat and stuff.

My appetite has finally decided to come back. I haven't been hungry for like the last 4 months, maybe even longer than that. Now that I'm suddenly hungry again, I feel the need to create random concoctions in my kitchen. But sadly, I haven't because I'm too sleepy. Which brings me to my next update....

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see what my next move is in trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with my shoulder. Hopefully, I'm not dying. But then again, no more student loans......... And I've FINALLY made an appointment with a dermatologist to get all my crazy spots checked out. I'd like to cross off shoulder cancer (which isn't actually a real thing) and skin cancer off my list of possible diseases/illnesses.

That's all I have for now. Gotta get back to work!

MonDaZe

This has been one of the most stressful days at work that I've had in a while. Next to the phones going crazy, I'm trying to keep up with all the Monday mail, and emails, and deposit logs, and now vending machine quotes. Yay! I can feel my hair falling out even more than usual. I think I can rock a bald head tho. JK my noggin is too small. 

But anyways. I have about an hour to kill and about an hour and a half worth of work to do. Sooooo here we goooooooo.

It's my birthday today.

I'm now 25 years old.

Oh, the pain and suffering...

I'm in such a dramatic mood.



Honestly, I'm not even sure what that means.....

But anyways, I'm so bored and so sleepy and somehow super busy at work. The stuff I'm doing is mindnumbinglyboring. Feels like I'm sitting here asleep with my eyes open. 2 more hours to go. And then 9 hours tomorrow. Then weekend mode. Unfortunately for me, my brain is already in weekend mode.

Nap time when I get home is happening for sure. Such sleepies. zzz

Questions, questions, questions.

I'm very curious. I'd like to know who is out there reading all of my random-ass blog posts. Comment/email/text/facebook/tweet/send me a smoke signal!! I think it would be fun to communicate with the people I don't actually know in real life. K. Well that's all I really wanted to say.

Soooo, this is the part where you're supposed to decide which way to contact me. (Personally, I'm a fan of comments or emails)

*~*~*who knows, if I'm randomly feeling lovey and whatnot, I'll maybe possibly send you a surprise*~*~*

My feelings towards doctors and waiting rooms.

I do not like waiting rooms at doctors offices. They always smell like baby poop and old lady stench. Literally, I'm suffocating right now. There are at least 12 other people/children in this tiny ass room and there is only ONE DOCTOR in this office. I might as well set up a tent and get ready to camp the fuck out. I'm praying they have free wifi.... Ok I just checked. I'm currently connected to a printer's wifi. Fuck yea dood.
But like really though. Idk if I'm gonna survive the putrid stench of this waiting room. My nose holes are burning so badly right now. Oh, and did I mention it's cold in here? Yea. Its cold in here. I'm thinking warm thoughts and it's not making me feel warm. I wish I had a blanket and some snacks, cuz I'm also hungry.. Random, but like, here I am sitting in this god awful stankass room, freezing to death, and literally the first food item that comes to mind is a fucking banana split. Like, really brain? Really? A cold dessert? You can do better than that... Chicken noodle soup. Hot wings. Mashed potatoes and gravy. Chili and corn bread. Even a cheeseburger. Those are much more appropriate..
And now, my bladder is informing me that I need to tinkle. This is great. Just fucking spectacular. I am not pleased with today. Can I just go home? Depending on what the doctor says, I might just do that. Go home, eat a sammich, take a nap, maybe do some laundry (probably not tho) because the idea of going back to work makes me wanna cry a little... I keep thinking about all the work that's piled up on my desk right now and I just wanna crawl in a hole and hide forever.
So. Anyways. My appointment is/was scheduled for 11:30, the current time: 11:51, I got here at 11:20. I am still in the waiting room. This is the worst. Like, psh. What's even the point of scheduling an appointment? They never get you in a room til a lot of minutes after your scheduled "appointment time" and then you wait even longer in the room for the doctor to show up and poke you for a couple of minutes then thats it. It's over. You're basically done. Like, why? Why?
Whatever. I just want some allergy and cough medicine so I can feel like a human again. Because, coughing all day and all night isn't fun. And not being able to breathe is totes NOT the bomb dot com. Not only are my nose holes blocked, but my ear holes are blocked as well. Every now and then I'll yawn or something and BOOM, suddenly one ear pops and I can hear again. It's almost magical being able to hear the world again..
Current time: 12:04
Current status: sitting in a temporary room until a real room opens up.
And now I'm waiting patiently to use the potty because I'm literally about to pee my pants. I wish I was joking. I drink a lot of water daily, so when I get the urge to pee, I better find a pisser real fuckin fast.
This really sucks a lot, but I should probably end this ranting blog post now.
Until later, my minions. XOXO

My father, & last night...

He is a very smart man. Like, he is really smart. If I need an answer to any questions, I will always ask him first and then Google if he doesn't know. But occasionally he can say/do some really dumb stuff. Yesterday evening, I was taking my usual Monday evening nap. He comes into my room, clearly seeing that I am laying in my bed, under the covers, and all the lights turned off.... He then asks, "What are you doing?"

seriously?......... -__-

To which I responded, "Um.. Napping?" But what I should have said was, "Um.. Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro." Unfortunately, I was unable to go back to sleep after the rude interruption, so I just got up and made dinner. Sad.

Anyways, I have suffering from allergies. It's that time of year when I cough up a lung every 38 seconds, when I have a nose runnier that a leaky faucet, when I struggle to breathe thought my nostrils or mouth, when I get bronchitis 57 times a month, when I cease to exist because I'm living in a dayquil/nyquil daze, when I suddenly remember why I despise the taste of mucinex, when head feels like a balloon swaying just a few inches from the ceiling, when my ears stop being able to hear things, and when my eyes are itchy and scratchy and watery.  White bitches love fall. Uggs come out, pumpkin flavored everything happens, and the temperature drops to a bearable 65-75 degrees (aka sweater weather). This is the time of year I don't particularly care for. Every. Fucking. Year. I get all nasty and ill. It kills my vibe. Last night, pre-sleeps, this is what I took to help combat the unfortunate symptoms of Fall allergies:

1. Help, I can't sleep!


2. Nyqyil cold & flu


3. Doctor prescribed cough medicine called Guaifenesin



4. Mucinex


5. Walgreen version of Zyrtec


So basically it was a medicinal cocktail, garnished with a coughdrop and served with a side of tissues. PLZ KILL ME. Hashtag over it.

Hypochondria & other things....

I, Shelby No Middle Name Deuvall, am a hypochondriac. In the past 3 days I have self-diagnosed myself with acid reflux disease, allergic asthma, and a sinus infection.

In other news, I have a badass puppy. Let me brag about my little bundle of furry joy. He is like 13 or 14 weeks old. He has never had any formal (or informal) potty training whatsoever. This weekend I took him with me to stay at the Netflix cave (aka my main squeeze's apartment). So I brought a bunch of shit to make sure we didn't have any accidents. I also bought a leash and collar, which he has also never worn/used in his few months of life. On our very first outing, he made poo and pee like a big boy and he was a natural on the leash #soproud. Long story short (because I'm running out of time): Friday night through Sunday night he didn't have a single accident inside and he didn't go all bark-crazy like some dogs do and he was a good lil pup all weekend. SOOO FRICK FRACKEN PROUD OF MY BABY BARCHIMEDES <3

Break Time.

Not really an actual work certified "break" but my mind can't focus on anything and basically my brain is shut off. You betta believe dis betch is gonna take a nap at 5:15 when I get home from work. So anyways, I definitely had an actual point to this post but I got distracted and forgot, now here I am rambling on about absolutely nothing important whatsoever.. Sorry to anyone who is reading this right now. I know, you were probably expecting something glorious, hilarious, exquisite, beautifully written, or flat out fucking radical. But you get this sloppy piece of junk instead. Btw, did I mention I was sorry, but not sorry? Ha! Jokes on you sucka. I honestly don't even know what I'm saying anymore at this point. Can it be 5 yet? Cuz my eyeballs are about to fall out of my skull.
Ok. I just had a very saddening realization.. I don't have anything to eat for lunch today :( and I'm a PMS-ing psycho right now, meaning that I basically want to eat edible thing in sight. Wahh :( Someone bring me a 72oz steak (rare/med rare), 1 gallon of mashed potatoes, 2 lbs of green beans, 3 cherry pies, a block of colby jack cheese, 2 large pepperoni pizzas, 6 pints of strawberry ice cream, one hard boiled egg, 10 bean and cheese tacos, a case of beer, and maybe a glass of water to help wash everything down. Yes, I am that hungry right now. It fees like my stomach is eating itself. I hear that damn dying sea lion again, only this time he's also a hungry dying seal. Like, wtf tumtum? Like, wtf, uterus? Like, wtf? Being a girl is the worst. I'm hungry, and cranky, and sad, and happy, and ragey, borderline murderous, and I also wanna sleep for 8 million hours straight. What in the actual fuck? Is this normal? Sadly, yes it is. FUCK.
Well I'm gonna go wallow in self-pity/starve/work/sleep with my eyes open/contemplate playing in traffic now. *le yawn*