Woah.

If my life could just chill out for like a day that would be great. Too much stuff is happening at once and its overwhelming as fuck. I just wanna sleep for a week straight.

The cold weather is bumming me out.
My allergies are bumming me out.
Having a bazillion doctors appointments is bumming me out.
The fact that my grandma is dying is bumming me out.
Family drama is bumming me out.
Feeling sick all the time is bumming me out.
Being awake right now is bumming me out.
Life in general is bumming me out.

Seriously...

I've been in a shitty mood all day today. My family is driving me absolutley nuts. I don't understand them sometimes.. I'm sick and tired of them telling me what they think is best for me and what they think I should be doing. Like, I'm a big girl, I can make my own damn decisions. If my decisions end up being bad ones, then so be it. I can learn from them and move the fuck on with my life. And I sure as hell shouldn't have to explain myself or my decisions to anyone.

Wow.

Personally, I'm not the type to talk shit behind someone else's back. But, when I do, the person that I'm talking about has definitely heard it from my mouth first.
I legit don't understand why people feel the need to say rude shit about someone when they aren't in the same room.
Idk, maybe I'm just too nice or something, but I usually have pleasant things to say about the people I know.
Whatever. Idk. I'm over it.

Rant

Here's the thing... I don't get mad or angry a lot anymore and it takes a LOT to piss me off (except when I'm driving #roadrage). But there is one thing that can set me off quicker than a firecracker on the 4th of July: when people make assumptions about my intelligence. 

I've had people treat me like I'm stupid and talk down to me more times than I can remember. And they do it based off of the most absurd reasons. Like, ok yea I dropped out of college. BFD. There are a lot of successful people who didn't get a college degree. How does dropping out even measure intelligence?? It doesn't. The fact that I even made it to college should be enough to show that I don't have rocks for brains. And, for the record, I only applied to one school, the only school I even considered, and I got in. So suck on that. People should stop being such judgmental douchebags. So, I'm young, and I'm fairly attractive. Apparently that means I'm automatically labeled as a dumb girl. Well, I am not a dumb girl. I can't stand it when grown ass adults talk down to me because I'm younger than they are. Uhm.. Last time I checked, age does not measure intelligence either. There are definitely some child geniuses out there. Because I'm not terribly unattractive, and somewhat easy on the average eye, people tend to label me as dumb. Because of my facial features. Like, what? Seriously? That is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever experienced in my almost 25 years of life. Absolutely ridiculous.

I just really needed to get that off my chest. Rant. Over.

Oh wow. Some feels & randoms.,

Today has been slightly on the blah side so far.. It is currently 9:38 am and I am beyond ready for 5 pm. Work is making me sad and stressed a little. Is there a job where I can get paid a lot of money for just sitting around a looking adorable? Or maybe sleeping a lot, like the more I sleep the more money I make? That right there is my dream job (pun intended).

Wow.

So much blah feels this morning. For real. I'm pretty sure there isn't enough caffeine in the world to wake me the fuck up right now. Sleepy, slightly hungry, raging headache (because I clench my teeth when I'm stressed), and my achy knees and shoulder. I'm falling apart at the ripe, young age of 24 years, 11 months.

Speaking of age... My birthday is exactly one month from today :(

My life is basically in shambles. Someone please put me out of my misery. Oh, and this dreary fucking almost raining bullshit weather definitely isn't helping me feel better. Can I just go home and be a cranky betch in the comfort of my own home??  A bowl of chili, a crappy movie, animal cuddles, and being wrapped in a blanket burrito are exactly what I need in my life at the moment.

Maybe I should stop being such a complainer and be happy about all the cool things that are happening in my life.... Like, woah. I've got some pretty awesome friends. They totes make my life complete. So do my animalz because they are so cute and cuddly and silly. I love them all. Plus, my parents have been chill af lately. *knocks on wood* But really though, all this minor crap that's making me cranky today, is nothing compared to the legit happiness I actually feel most of the time <3 Like, so what if I'm one month closer to my icky birthday? I'm also one month closer to my baby brother coming back from stupid Africa!! That lil booger is finally gonna be home for good. No more deployments, no more military, no more living 10+ hours away. It's gonna be awesome ( I think). Although, to be quite honest, I'm a tad bit worried about him moving back in with me and my roommates (aka parents, lulz) because the four of us haven't lived together since the end of July 2008...... Could be a recipe for disaster, or it could be a recipe for extreme awesomeness. Since history does have a way of repeating itself, I'm predicting that it's gonna be magical and awesome and a lot of bonding type shit is gonna happen in the first, idk like week or 2 maybe even 3, then after that we're all gonna be over it... My family is so strange. I love them forever tho.

I just realized I'm kind of rambling on about nothing..... I tend to do that when I'm deliriously tired. My bad. Hashtag sorry not sorry. Ok, well, I'm actually super swamped with work, probs shouldn't even be blogging this morning. YOLO.

My father, & last night...

He is a very smart man. Like, he is really smart. If I need an answer to any questions, I will always ask him first and then Google if he doesn't know. But occasionally he can say/do some really dumb stuff. Yesterday evening, I was taking my usual Monday evening nap. He comes into my room, clearly seeing that I am laying in my bed, under the covers, and all the lights turned off.... He then asks, "What are you doing?"

seriously?......... -__-

To which I responded, "Um.. Napping?" But what I should have said was, "Um.. Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro." Unfortunately, I was unable to go back to sleep after the rude interruption, so I just got up and made dinner. Sad.

Anyways, I have suffering from allergies. It's that time of year when I cough up a lung every 38 seconds, when I have a nose runnier that a leaky faucet, when I struggle to breathe thought my nostrils or mouth, when I get bronchitis 57 times a month, when I cease to exist because I'm living in a dayquil/nyquil daze, when I suddenly remember why I despise the taste of mucinex, when head feels like a balloon swaying just a few inches from the ceiling, when my ears stop being able to hear things, and when my eyes are itchy and scratchy and watery.  White bitches love fall. Uggs come out, pumpkin flavored everything happens, and the temperature drops to a bearable 65-75 degrees (aka sweater weather). This is the time of year I don't particularly care for. Every. Fucking. Year. I get all nasty and ill. It kills my vibe. Last night, pre-sleeps, this is what I took to help combat the unfortunate symptoms of Fall allergies:

1. Help, I can't sleep!


2. Nyqyil cold & flu


3. Doctor prescribed cough medicine called Guaifenesin



4. Mucinex


5. Walgreen version of Zyrtec


So basically it was a medicinal cocktail, garnished with a coughdrop and served with a side of tissues. PLZ KILL ME. Hashtag over it.

Break Time.

Not really an actual work certified "break" but my mind can't focus on anything and basically my brain is shut off. You betta believe dis betch is gonna take a nap at 5:15 when I get home from work. So anyways, I definitely had an actual point to this post but I got distracted and forgot, now here I am rambling on about absolutely nothing important whatsoever.. Sorry to anyone who is reading this right now. I know, you were probably expecting something glorious, hilarious, exquisite, beautifully written, or flat out fucking radical. But you get this sloppy piece of junk instead. Btw, did I mention I was sorry, but not sorry? Ha! Jokes on you sucka. I honestly don't even know what I'm saying anymore at this point. Can it be 5 yet? Cuz my eyeballs are about to fall out of my skull.
Ok. I just had a very saddening realization.. I don't have anything to eat for lunch today :( and I'm a PMS-ing psycho right now, meaning that I basically want to eat edible thing in sight. Wahh :( Someone bring me a 72oz steak (rare/med rare), 1 gallon of mashed potatoes, 2 lbs of green beans, 3 cherry pies, a block of colby jack cheese, 2 large pepperoni pizzas, 6 pints of strawberry ice cream, one hard boiled egg, 10 bean and cheese tacos, a case of beer, and maybe a glass of water to help wash everything down. Yes, I am that hungry right now. It fees like my stomach is eating itself. I hear that damn dying sea lion again, only this time he's also a hungry dying seal. Like, wtf tumtum? Like, wtf, uterus? Like, wtf? Being a girl is the worst. I'm hungry, and cranky, and sad, and happy, and ragey, borderline murderous, and I also wanna sleep for 8 million hours straight. What in the actual fuck? Is this normal? Sadly, yes it is. FUCK.
Well I'm gonna go wallow in self-pity/starve/work/sleep with my eyes open/contemplate playing in traffic now. *le yawn*