Sleep is my best friend.

Literally, I'm so good at sleeping. After work yesterday, I took a nap probably around 5:30ish and slept til 1am. Then I got up and ate some food and watched some TV and went back to sleep around 4am. My internal alarm clock woke me up at 8am and I said, "Fuck that" and went back to sleep til noon. That's like 17 hours of sleep. How is that even possible?

FFFFFFFFFF

Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! My second favorite F word!!

The weekends make me happy because I can sleep in and not have to wear pants all day. Or a bra. Pants and bras are literally the worst thing to wear. Idk which is worse though... Bras sometimes make my boobies look phenomenal, but they are uncomfortable. And pants can be slimming, but they are also uncomfortable. I should just follow my true calling and move into the nudist colony on the other side of the river... Oh yea, there is a nudist colony on the other side of the river behind my grandma's house. Neat, huh? One time when it was borderline flooding, we were on the bridge checking the water level, and I saw a very tan and very naked old man.. Luckily he was far enough away that I couldn't see exactly what he was packin. But like, ew. Tan, naked old man.

Anywho. Back to my usual Friday excitement!! ~*~*~*~*~*~ fkalfl;jalfjasklfjkshasalsdjlsj
Can you tell I'm excited that it's Friday?? Because I am. I don't even have any big plans this weekend.. I'm just happy to not be at work. This has definitely been a long, and very taxing week for me. Curse you, end of the fiscal year, curse you!!

Like, here I am. Sitting at my desk. Paperwork spread out in front of me. An excel spreadsheet open so I can click back over to it if someone walks my way. Pretending to look busy is legit hard work. Borderline headache-inducing. Jk, it isn't even hard. I just need the time to hurry the eff up and hit 5:00 already tho. I have a very important meeting to attend at 5:30. It's a meeting in my bed. My stuffed teddy bear will be there, and so will my cat. It's gonna be one of those silent meetings where we all sleep and not give a flying fuck about the outside world. Ok, well, I gotta go. Adios mutherfaker. XOXO

My father, & last night...

He is a very smart man. Like, he is really smart. If I need an answer to any questions, I will always ask him first and then Google if he doesn't know. But occasionally he can say/do some really dumb stuff. Yesterday evening, I was taking my usual Monday evening nap. He comes into my room, clearly seeing that I am laying in my bed, under the covers, and all the lights turned off.... He then asks, "What are you doing?"

seriously?......... -__-

To which I responded, "Um.. Napping?" But what I should have said was, "Um.. Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro." Unfortunately, I was unable to go back to sleep after the rude interruption, so I just got up and made dinner. Sad.

Anyways, I have suffering from allergies. It's that time of year when I cough up a lung every 38 seconds, when I have a nose runnier that a leaky faucet, when I struggle to breathe thought my nostrils or mouth, when I get bronchitis 57 times a month, when I cease to exist because I'm living in a dayquil/nyquil daze, when I suddenly remember why I despise the taste of mucinex, when head feels like a balloon swaying just a few inches from the ceiling, when my ears stop being able to hear things, and when my eyes are itchy and scratchy and watery.  White bitches love fall. Uggs come out, pumpkin flavored everything happens, and the temperature drops to a bearable 65-75 degrees (aka sweater weather). This is the time of year I don't particularly care for. Every. Fucking. Year. I get all nasty and ill. It kills my vibe. Last night, pre-sleeps, this is what I took to help combat the unfortunate symptoms of Fall allergies:

1. Help, I can't sleep!


2. Nyqyil cold & flu


3. Doctor prescribed cough medicine called Guaifenesin



4. Mucinex


5. Walgreen version of Zyrtec


So basically it was a medicinal cocktail, garnished with a coughdrop and served with a side of tissues. PLZ KILL ME. Hashtag over it.

Drowsy day

Literally can't keep my eyes open. Had a random allergic reaction and broke out in an itch rash. Took some benadryl and now I'm sleeping with my eyes open. Typing is hard.

My poor cat

I'm just over here force cuddling my cat while quietly whispering "just chillax, bro"
This is my life. This is basically a good way to sum up my mid 20's. Cool. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now. Lol jk I'm gonna go to the kitchen and do what I do best, I'm gonna eat my feelings.

Fuck you, pms.

Last night.

Last night, I literally was so unproductive. I feel like such a lazy sack of shit. Allow me to explain why:

I took a food coma nap on the couch around 9pm. Woke up still incredibly sleepy around 10:30pm. I went back to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night. Why? Because I didn't feel like walking all the way to my bed.

Lazy.

Sack.

OF.

SHIT.

So, yea. Tonight is probably going to be much more productive. I'm going to buy pantalooooons! *too much excitement* My bum caused my former pantaloons to rip. My bum betrayed me. Not even lying when I say I ripped at least 5 pairs of pants this year. That's gotta be some kind of world record or something. WHERE'S MY GOT DAMN TROPHY?

Jordan, if you're reading this. Dana called again. GO FUCK YOURSELF DANA. I hate him & his lady name. Hate.