Woah.

If my life could just chill out for like a day that would be great. Too much stuff is happening at once and its overwhelming as fuck. I just wanna sleep for a week straight.

The cold weather is bumming me out.
My allergies are bumming me out.
Having a bazillion doctors appointments is bumming me out.
The fact that my grandma is dying is bumming me out.
Family drama is bumming me out.
Feeling sick all the time is bumming me out.
Being awake right now is bumming me out.
Life in general is bumming me out.

Holy hell. Monday.

Monday is never a good day. Today is Monday, and today is not a good day. I'm cranky, I'm tired, I feel like complaining for no reason at all, and I don't feel good.
Currently taking a quick mental  health break from work. My brain is fried.

Oh, and I was definitely late for work this morning. Like, seriously? My alarm somehow turned itself off while I was asleep, I guess... JK I know I probably turned it off in my sleep. It's a habit.

So, yea. Fuck today.

Today's adventure.

My adventure began in the parking lot at work. I was leaving to go to the doctor and I saw a friend and stopped to say hi. He then said to another friend "Isn't she the hottest thing you've ever seen?" kinda made me feel good and then I felt awkward lulz. Then I was driving downtown and I saw a teeny tiny little car. I felt as if I could've picked it up and put it in my pocket. It wasn't one of those stupid clown looking smart cars though. This one was like, an old sports car or something. Idk. It was neat and cute and miniature. Next, I was walking downtown to my doctors office with my headphones in, so I couldn't hear anything. I had to walk past the a bus stop where there are usually people with questionable morals and attitudes.. I'm pretty sure this guy eye-sexed me and probably said something vulgar. Luckily I couldn't hear him or else I probably would've slapped him in his little hoodlum face. JK, I would've just ignored it and kept walking. Anyways, I got to the building and was in the elevator with some people. There was this super cute old couple and the lady kept smiling at me. As I got off on the 14th floor, I heard the lady say to her husband, "That girl had an earring in her nose!" She obviously noticed my septum ring because I flipped it back down after I left the office. Hahaha how adorable are old people, am I right? Next, I waited patiently in the waiting room and then my doctor came in. We discussed my shoulder problems. I'm gonna try physical therapy first and if that doesn't work, she's going to refer me to a shoulder specialist. I didn't even know that a shoulder specialist was a thing, but apparently it is. So that's pretty neat. Now I'm sitting in my car about to drive back to work. I'm legit contemplating a quick power nap.. I mean, I'm in a parking garage, no one will see me...? Nah, I probably should just suck it up and go back to work. I have a busy afternoon ahead of me. K, byeeeee.

Sleep is my best friend.

Literally, I'm so good at sleeping. After work yesterday, I took a nap probably around 5:30ish and slept til 1am. Then I got up and ate some food and watched some TV and went back to sleep around 4am. My internal alarm clock woke me up at 8am and I said, "Fuck that" and went back to sleep til noon. That's like 17 hours of sleep. How is that even possible?

Today rulez so hard

One of my coworkers gave me a bunch of candy and is bringing me lunch today. Like, how am I so lucky!? It's obviously because my eyebrows are on point today. *hairflip* But I could use a bit more caffeine, I'm kind of dragging a little.  

Side note: my stupid phone just rang 6 times in a row. WTF is that all about?

Anyways, caffeine. I need. I feel like green tea, since I've had my usual cup of earl grey. Or, I could just eat a shit load of candy and bounce off the walls like the crazy maniac that I am sometimes. Or BOTH. 

MonDaZe

This has been one of the most stressful days at work that I've had in a while. Next to the phones going crazy, I'm trying to keep up with all the Monday mail, and emails, and deposit logs, and now vending machine quotes. Yay! I can feel my hair falling out even more than usual. I think I can rock a bald head tho. JK my noggin is too small. 

But anyways. I have about an hour to kill and about an hour and a half worth of work to do. Sooooo here we goooooooo.

Oh, the pain and suffering...

I'm in such a dramatic mood.



Honestly, I'm not even sure what that means.....

But anyways, I'm so bored and so sleepy and somehow super busy at work. The stuff I'm doing is mindnumbinglyboring. Feels like I'm sitting here asleep with my eyes open. 2 more hours to go. And then 9 hours tomorrow. Then weekend mode. Unfortunately for me, my brain is already in weekend mode.

Nap time when I get home is happening for sure. Such sleepies. zzz

If only..

If I could, I'd take a nap under my desk right now. That's how sleepy I am.
Legit struggling to keep my eyes open. Speaking of eyes, there's a pain behind my left one.
It's only Tuesday. Welcome to the never-ending work week. Ugh.

The complaints are going to stop now. I am reminding myself of all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. For instance, right this very moment I'm messaging my brother, who's in Africa playing with lions and giraffes and ebola. He comes home at the end of January or the beginning of February. Cannot. Frickin. Wait.

I'm out of things to say.

Regrets...& Monday feelz

I 101% regret staying up so late last night.
I also regret not calling into work this morning.
F M L

It is Monday. Again. So sad and so tired.
This is random, but... The office smells like a frozen french fry.
Idk. I'm out of it.

I thought there would be more to say, but there's not.
Literally, can't focus on anything.
Soooo tired. I am a zombie now.

ZOMBIE KITTENS <3

One happy lil tummy

On of my co-workers gave me some chicken noodle soup for lunch. You betta believe this lil tum-tum of mine is doing a happy dance right now. So. Damn. Good. And perfect for today's shitty fucking weather. Rain. Non-stop since last night. Why am I not in bed?????? AHSLA;SAJDFJALHDSJKAAS

Only a couple more hours and some minutes til I can go home and nap/sleep forever.

Epic fail moment of the day, so far.....

Allergies, man.. Am I right? So I meant to take my daytime allergy meds that I keep in my desk drawer at work.. I also have a small pack of the drowsiness-inducing allergy medicine as well.

Obviously, I took the drowsiness-inducing allergy medicine instead of the day time medicine. I am basically asleep with my eyes open right now. Typing is hard. I can barely focus/function on the task at hand. FML.

Why does this shit always happen to me?

IT'S RAINING (but not men, unfortunately)

& I wish I was in my bed instead of at my desk.. But oh well... At least I'm making moneyyy $$$.
It's a bit nippy today. Cold & rainy days cause runny noses, so not only is it raining outside, but it's also raining out of my nose. Gross.

So I saw this thing on twitter last night and it was 101% accurate. "It could be raining men and I'd still be single" This speaks volumes about my life. Hashtag forever single, sometimes by choice and sometimes not by choice. Whatevs.
I wonder how many days it's gonna rain for. Can it stop for like, a day or two? And then continue over the weekend? Because I plan on having yet another lazy bitch weekend at the netflix cave aka Jordan's apartment and it would be quite lovely if it rained the whole damn time.
Definitely didn't have time to smoke a cigarette this morning due to the rain effing up my life. Idk if I'm even gonna be able to smoke on my lunch break again, because of the rain effing up my life. There could potentially be a murderous rampage in Elmendorf, TX this afternoon if I don't get my nicotine fix.

Oh wow. Some feels & randoms.,

Today has been slightly on the blah side so far.. It is currently 9:38 am and I am beyond ready for 5 pm. Work is making me sad and stressed a little. Is there a job where I can get paid a lot of money for just sitting around a looking adorable? Or maybe sleeping a lot, like the more I sleep the more money I make? That right there is my dream job (pun intended).

Wow.

So much blah feels this morning. For real. I'm pretty sure there isn't enough caffeine in the world to wake me the fuck up right now. Sleepy, slightly hungry, raging headache (because I clench my teeth when I'm stressed), and my achy knees and shoulder. I'm falling apart at the ripe, young age of 24 years, 11 months.

Speaking of age... My birthday is exactly one month from today :(

My life is basically in shambles. Someone please put me out of my misery. Oh, and this dreary fucking almost raining bullshit weather definitely isn't helping me feel better. Can I just go home and be a cranky betch in the comfort of my own home??  A bowl of chili, a crappy movie, animal cuddles, and being wrapped in a blanket burrito are exactly what I need in my life at the moment.

Maybe I should stop being such a complainer and be happy about all the cool things that are happening in my life.... Like, woah. I've got some pretty awesome friends. They totes make my life complete. So do my animalz because they are so cute and cuddly and silly. I love them all. Plus, my parents have been chill af lately. *knocks on wood* But really though, all this minor crap that's making me cranky today, is nothing compared to the legit happiness I actually feel most of the time <3 Like, so what if I'm one month closer to my icky birthday? I'm also one month closer to my baby brother coming back from stupid Africa!! That lil booger is finally gonna be home for good. No more deployments, no more military, no more living 10+ hours away. It's gonna be awesome ( I think). Although, to be quite honest, I'm a tad bit worried about him moving back in with me and my roommates (aka parents, lulz) because the four of us haven't lived together since the end of July 2008...... Could be a recipe for disaster, or it could be a recipe for extreme awesomeness. Since history does have a way of repeating itself, I'm predicting that it's gonna be magical and awesome and a lot of bonding type shit is gonna happen in the first, idk like week or 2 maybe even 3, then after that we're all gonna be over it... My family is so strange. I love them forever tho.

I just realized I'm kind of rambling on about nothing..... I tend to do that when I'm deliriously tired. My bad. Hashtag sorry not sorry. Ok, well, I'm actually super swamped with work, probs shouldn't even be blogging this morning. YOLO.

Oh.

Today I am very sleepy. So sleepy. I need a 100oz red bull to get me through this morning. Too many weird dreams (that I can't even remember now) waking me up.. And I kept randomly waking up for no reason too. Pretty annoying. But one of my co-workers told me that I look very rested. Ha! Take that stupid sleep schedule!

In other news, I'm pretty sure my allergies are going to kill me. I have been coughing or sneezing for two days. Gross. This morning, whilst I was in the process of coughing up a lung, one of my other co-workers asked me if I had Ebola. I said yes. Then we all had a good laugh.

I'm pretty sure I don't have anything else interesting to add to this.. So, bye.

Today's annoyances.

Ok. Here we go. I'm starting this post at 9:10 am and will be listing all of the things that have annoyed me to the point of kicking someone in the throat.

7:20 am
I know exactly where my grey shirt is. It's in the pile of clean laundry on my bed. So I'm digging and digging and throwing things around my room and can't find it. That is what I wanted to wear today. But, alas, I cannot find it. I am legit angry at this point. I settle for another shirt and continue my morning getting ready process.

7:50 am
Driving to work. Cranky and tired because I'm driving to work and not in bed sleeping. Making and attempt to light my cigarette. This fucking lighter isn't working. Why me? I used my ghetto-rigged car lighter.

8:58 am
Answering the phone at work. A man says he needs information about our fuel. I ask him which fuel (we have racing fuel, small engine fuel, and hobby fuel). He says C16. I ask him if he has technical questions or if he needs pricing. He says, and I quote, "Yes." ....... uhm, ok? So pricing or tech question you incompetent moron!?

9:25 am
Papercut.

9:36 am
I am literally just sitting her annoyed and irritated at nothing. Nothing has even happened but I'm ready to punch a hole in a wall. Why? It's not PMS, that's not for 7 more days.

10: 03 am
Answering the phone again. Some dude asks for Pam. There is no one named Pam here. He sounds like he has the IQ of a green bean. I ask for his name. He says "Kenssufso Fossdfid with Bslsodsau Racing Team" Like, woah dude. Stop mumbling. I ask him to repeat. He says the exact same thing. Fucking mumbling still. Like, fuck you. Take the dick out of your mouth. Speak proper English, bitch.

11:37 am
Phone rings. I answer, on the 1st ring. It's a recording. I fucking hate recordings. Now I'm bothered. *angrily hangs up phone*

12:26 pm
When people on the phone go on and on and on and on about their stupid issues... I would like to tell them to get to the point. Spit it out. Tell me why you're calling without a lot of words. I just need to know a few simple things. 1. What kind of fuel 2. Where are you located 3. Tech questions or pricing/sales. That's it. Any other words are annoying. Fucking annoying. Annoying as fuck. 

1 pm - 2 pm
Lunch break. Everything was awesome and not annoying. My co-workers are fun to have lunch with.

2:16 pm
I just need to send one fax. One fax. The machine has to be shut off for 2 mins. Very inconveniencing & annoying.


3:56 pm
On the phone with the Xerox technician. He has a foreign accent so I automatically don't know what he is saying. And I'm trying to fix this stupid machine. I'm ready to yank all my hair out of my head.

4:00 pm
Awkward silence with this technician. Probably not as annoying as his accent, but annoying nonetheless.

4:01 pm
Why is it always me who finds out the copy machine isn't working properly? Adkslfjjslshakklssallskfjjfsdlkfjfhdsjaflsdja;flahlkjslajfkldjsl

4:16 pm
When someone calls me and then says "hold on a sec". Like, don't make me wait. You called me. Who even does that?

4:20 pm
Wish I could partake in certain 4:20 activities.... Unfortunately that is not an option ever.
Also, another papercut. 

4:32 pm
This mother bleeper has called three times today. THREE times. And I have told him the exact same thing every time. He asks for Mike. Mike doesn't have an extension here so I offer him Mike's company cell phone number. He writes it down. We hang up. One call was this morning. The other two were literally 5 minutes apart. What the fudge.??!>

4:41 pm
I'm on the phone with Xerox again. AHHHHHHH. (anger scream)

4:49 pm
Bout to pee my pants and someone is in the bathroom.......

End time: 4: 56
Time to dick around for 4 mins. TGIF.

Drowsy day

Literally can't keep my eyes open. Had a random allergic reaction and broke out in an itch rash. Took some benadryl and now I'm sleeping with my eyes open. Typing is hard.

Break Time.

Not really an actual work certified "break" but my mind can't focus on anything and basically my brain is shut off. You betta believe dis betch is gonna take a nap at 5:15 when I get home from work. So anyways, I definitely had an actual point to this post but I got distracted and forgot, now here I am rambling on about absolutely nothing important whatsoever.. Sorry to anyone who is reading this right now. I know, you were probably expecting something glorious, hilarious, exquisite, beautifully written, or flat out fucking radical. But you get this sloppy piece of junk instead. Btw, did I mention I was sorry, but not sorry? Ha! Jokes on you sucka. I honestly don't even know what I'm saying anymore at this point. Can it be 5 yet? Cuz my eyeballs are about to fall out of my skull.
Ok. I just had a very saddening realization.. I don't have anything to eat for lunch today :( and I'm a PMS-ing psycho right now, meaning that I basically want to eat edible thing in sight. Wahh :( Someone bring me a 72oz steak (rare/med rare), 1 gallon of mashed potatoes, 2 lbs of green beans, 3 cherry pies, a block of colby jack cheese, 2 large pepperoni pizzas, 6 pints of strawberry ice cream, one hard boiled egg, 10 bean and cheese tacos, a case of beer, and maybe a glass of water to help wash everything down. Yes, I am that hungry right now. It fees like my stomach is eating itself. I hear that damn dying sea lion again, only this time he's also a hungry dying seal. Like, wtf tumtum? Like, wtf, uterus? Like, wtf? Being a girl is the worst. I'm hungry, and cranky, and sad, and happy, and ragey, borderline murderous, and I also wanna sleep for 8 million hours straight. What in the actual fuck? Is this normal? Sadly, yes it is. FUCK.
Well I'm gonna go wallow in self-pity/starve/work/sleep with my eyes open/contemplate playing in traffic now. *le yawn*

Dead.

I'm. SO. FUCKING. Tired. Someone, please kill me. Curse you, PMS fatigue, curse you. Like, I know caffeine isn't gonna work today. It's just gonna be in my system doing nothing. It'll probably make me sleepier. FUCKING FUCK. I might leave work early today to go home and sleep. That's probably a terrible idea because I'm poor, but at this point I could care less about the lack of funds in my life. I care more about what the inside of my eyelids look like, honestly. I've been at work for almost 20 minutes and no joke, it feels like I've been here for at least 45 mins to an hour. What in the actual fuck? Here is a few illustrations that perfectly describe how I'm feeling today:

Last night.

Last night, I literally was so unproductive. I feel like such a lazy sack of shit. Allow me to explain why:

I took a food coma nap on the couch around 9pm. Woke up still incredibly sleepy around 10:30pm. I went back to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night. Why? Because I didn't feel like walking all the way to my bed.

Lazy.

Sack.

OF.

SHIT.

So, yea. Tonight is probably going to be much more productive. I'm going to buy pantalooooons! *too much excitement* My bum caused my former pantaloons to rip. My bum betrayed me. Not even lying when I say I ripped at least 5 pairs of pants this year. That's gotta be some kind of world record or something. WHERE'S MY GOT DAMN TROPHY?

Jordan, if you're reading this. Dana called again. GO FUCK YOURSELF DANA. I hate him & his lady name. Hate.

Oh, happy day!

I DON'T HAVE CELIAC DISEASE.

I am so happy right now! Gluten, I can still eat you!!!!!

I also don't have helicobacter pylori, which is weird sounding and doctor-y. (It means there's bacteria in the lining of my stomach, ew.)

Now here comes the tricky  part. Two diseases have been eliminated on the quest to discover what the heck is wrong with me. Time to play the waiting game until my next two doctors appointments mid July. My guess is I'm anemic. It would explain why I'm 24 years old and tired ALL THE TIME.

Well, anyways. I'm still pretty excited about being able to eat gluten. Because donuts is lyfe.