Quick update to kill some time

My job freakin rocks. Despite the fact that I've been busy as fuuuck this week, I'm so incredibly thrilled with all of the stuff that I've been doing! This is gonna sound super lame (sorry not sorry), but like, I finally feel like I'm actually worth something to VP. Lame. Told ya. But really though.. My boss has been giving me some somewhat important shit to do. So that's pretty neat and stuff.

My appetite has finally decided to come back. I haven't been hungry for like the last 4 months, maybe even longer than that. Now that I'm suddenly hungry again, I feel the need to create random concoctions in my kitchen. But sadly, I haven't because I'm too sleepy. Which brings me to my next update....

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see what my next move is in trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with my shoulder. Hopefully, I'm not dying. But then again, no more student loans......... And I've FINALLY made an appointment with a dermatologist to get all my crazy spots checked out. I'd like to cross off shoulder cancer (which isn't actually a real thing) and skin cancer off my list of possible diseases/illnesses.

That's all I have for now. Gotta get back to work!

Today rulez so hard

One of my coworkers gave me a bunch of candy and is bringing me lunch today. Like, how am I so lucky!? It's obviously because my eyebrows are on point today. *hairflip* But I could use a bit more caffeine, I'm kind of dragging a little.  

Side note: my stupid phone just rang 6 times in a row. WTF is that all about?

Anyways, caffeine. I need. I feel like green tea, since I've had my usual cup of earl grey. Or, I could just eat a shit load of candy and bounce off the walls like the crazy maniac that I am sometimes. Or BOTH. 

Life updates & stuffs

Well, it appears that I have neglected my beautiful blog and for that I apologize. LOL JK sorry not sorry. Anyhoo. So, Thanksgiving was last week. It was nice, minus the fact that there is a rude person in my family who clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone else's feelings beside their own. UGH. Yea. Other than that, Thanksgiving was quite lovely. The food was fantastic. The beer was ice cold. The weather was lovely. And I also took a trip down memory lane by visiting the house I grew up in. So many strangely wonderful memories. Good times, man. Good times.

And now, today is December 2nd. It is also Tuesday. The start of my birthday week/month. -_- I'm turning 25 on Thursday and I'm kind of bummed. I don't like odd number years, they're always difficult years for me. But luckily for me, I have some super awesome people in my life. I'm not even gonna worry about it.

Ok, here are some important life updates since my last blog post:

Firstly, you must know that I have zero intention of proofreading this post. So if there is a typo or mistake, you can build yourself a bridge and get the fuck over it :D

I started training yesterday to sort and deliver the mail. It's pretty easy, but some parts of it are a bit confusing. After a week or so I'll probably get the hang of it.

Two of my pups got fixed last week. Ginger got her tubes tied and Barchimedes lost his manhood. I feel bad for the lil guy, he worked so hard on growing his lil balls and we just let them get chopped off. And poor Ginger, she had some minor difficulties during the surgery. Her breathing slowed down too much so they had to stitch her up real fast. We had to keep her confined for days. That dog is cray cray though and loves to jump around like a psycho. So that was fun trying to get her back in the kennel. But they're doing good now. You can't even tell they had major surgery a week ago! Hashtag BALLIN.

My PMS was fucking crazy. Like, fucking mental breakdown, crying for no fucking reason, eating all the food, and trying to sleep for 37 hours straight. That's all I have to say about that.

Last night me & my dad made some fucking tasty chili. Y'all. It's so good. I just wanna eat 12 gallons of it in one sitting. There were no eggs in the fridge, so no cornbread. We subbed white rice instead, which is what I'm eating for lunch in less than an hour. Hurray!!

Remember that one blog post a while back, when I asked for good vibes and prayers and shit but wasn't ready to spill why? Well, I've been job hunting. Looking for a better paying job, preferably a state job. I was thinking I could find a way to pinch all 7 pennies I have and get my own apartment, but unfortunately that's not an option at this point in my life. Hashtag sad day. But I think I'm might rethink the whole "finding a new job" thing. My boss is leaving the company, which means I could 1. get a promotion 2. get a raise and/or 3. get a new office (lol jk, I'm still the best receptionist ever). But I'm for sure having more responsibility around the office. The new boss has already got me training for the mail delivery, and we discussed me possibly being in charge of ordering office supplies. Like, woah. I'm kind of a pro at organization, so OBVI the first thing I'm going to do is reorganize the supply room, duh.  I'm just really hoping for a pay raise though... So send me those good vibes, y'all!! And for the new job stuff, too. I've got some good prospects. Like, 4 or maybe 5 of my applications for city jobs have been sent the hiring manager in those specific departments. Keeping my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed!!

Oh, yea!! I know I already said it, but my birthday is on Thursday (day after tomorrow). Here are my awesome plans: Dinner at 54th street grill because I've literally been craving it for MONTHS. Bar hopping near Jordan's apartment (Boneheads, Wurzbach Ice House, 4th Quarter). Then the after party is going to be at Jordan's/TJ's. TJ has a wii and those are fun to play when you're drunk. And I plan on being pretty effin drunk.

I think that's all I have for now. I guess I'll leave you with this:

PMS tho

This month's pms is so fucking weird. All I wanna do is eat bean and cheese tacos and yell at everyone. And after I eat 185 bean and cheese tacos in one sitting, I really feel that lime jello topped with whipped cream would be the best way to end that eating sesh. All I can think about is tacos and sweets. Spicy hot sauce and sugary candies. Melty cheese and delectable donuts. Perfectly browned tortillas and warm brownies.
Not gonna lie. All this talk of food may or may not have just been slightly arousing to me.
I think I'm gonna go ahead and pretend like that just never happened. Anyways. Tacos, tho. I had 1 for breakfast, 2 for lunch, and 3 for dinner. I wish I was. joking. But I'm not. Sorry not sorry

Wow.

My absentmindedness is getting out of control. Wanna know what I did today? It's dumb.. So dumb. I feel like a friggin idiot.

Yesterday morning, I made my tea, per usual. The stupid little paper thingy fell off so I was like "whatevs" and just left the tea bags in my travel mug for extra oomph in my tea. Silly Penelope forgot to dump the old saggy tea bags this morning when I made my tea. And unfortunately, the tea that I used yesterday morning was the last of my Earl Gray so I made green tea. Sooooo lo and behold, the first sip of my tea was quite a disgusting shock when I realized that I mixed Earl Gray and green tea. It's nasty. But I needed the caffeine so bad I drank it anyways.

So yea.

Hashtag my life.

And then, this morning, my boss brought strawberry cupcakes. I ate a cupcake for breakfast. Pretty ballin, if you ask me. Along with my usual Hershey's kisses that I rarely eat and that live in my snack drawer, I got a grape lollipop. And then a co-worker (who buys me lunch occasionally) asked if I wanted anything from this Mexican restaurant down the street. TACOS. Well, actually just one bean and cheese taco but whatever, it's still a taco and I am still happy. Then, my work mom asked me if I brought a lunch today and if not she has a frozen lasagna for me. Like, why is everyone figuratively throwing food at me??? <<<NOT A COMPLAINT. I mean, I love me some food. That's fer dam shure. But like, I'm lacking an actual appetite so idk what to do with all these foods in my life. This is horrible and awesome at the same time. Bittersweet.

One happy lil tummy

On of my co-workers gave me some chicken noodle soup for lunch. You betta believe this lil tum-tum of mine is doing a happy dance right now. So. Damn. Good. And perfect for today's shitty fucking weather. Rain. Non-stop since last night. Why am I not in bed?????? AHSLA;SAJDFJALHDSJKAAS

Only a couple more hours and some minutes til I can go home and nap/sleep forever.

Horse shit/weekend time

Today is going by so freakin slow. I'm so ready for 5 pm, aka nap time. Hellz yea.

I'm gonna party so hard this weekend. PARTY HARD EM-EFFER

LOLOLOL just kidding. I'm gonna be in bed eating foodz and watching the Netflix. I am 100% determined to finish season 9 of Supernatural this weekend. It will happen. Whilst I am laying in bed eating all the food and drinking all the alcohols.

Bad habits & things of that nature

Everyone has bad habits.. Literally, everyone. That includes Beyonce, the pope, Blu from Blue's Clues. I'm basically the queen of bad habits. I've tried to break them, but it never seems to work out. For example, smoking. I smoke. A lot. Literally, every time I try to quit, I quit quitting and end up smoking more than before. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Tied for 1st in the category of my bad habits is cursing. I have a horrible potty mouth. I'm able to curb my mouth at the right times (most of the time).. But sometimes those F Bombs just sneak out.. Like, whoops... My b. I gotta work on thta...

But I have also successfully quit a couple of my bad, dare I say, worst habits. Binge drinking. That was the big one that got me into trouble constantly. I woke up one day and was like "Woah, I'm an adult now. I can't be running around getting wasted all the time..." And just like that, I started making better weekend decisions, like staying in and hanging out with  my cat or having a Netflix night. Totally responsible, right? Heck yea. Plus (in my own personal opinion) it's not cute for a 24, almost 25 year old woman, running around getting super trashed every weekend. That kinda stuff was ok(ish) in college, but in the real world? C'mon now.... I'm not saying that I quit drinking forever... I drink almost daily. A beer after work, or a glass of wine with my ramen noodles always hits the spot. I've become that person who only goes out drinking for special occasions. And not the whole "oh, it's Saturday, let's celebrate" or "oh, I went the whole day without saying the word 'cheese', let's celebrate". Like, a birthday or an old friend is in town, or something like that. Very rarely do I feel the need to just go out because I feel like going out. I kinda think it also might be because I'm a lazy sack of shit, too. Because, having to shower and then fix my hair and then do my make up and then decide what to wear out....... It's just too much effort, and the thought of having to socialize makes me want to vom. I ain't about that life anymore. Rather than binge drinking at a bar and getting sloppy in heels, I'd rather stay home in my sweat pants and drink a bottle of wine, whilst conversing with my cat about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. Another nasty habit I've dropped, eating fast food on the reg. Literally, so horrible for your body. So horrible. I was an addict. It was so quick and cheap and easy. Hell yea I wanted to super-size my meal. Mickey D's, BK, T-Bell, Jack in the crack.... The grease was enticing. The lack of nutrition was not a problem. I was out of control and didn't think or care about what I was putting into my body. And you know what? It showed. I got chunky. And not like, a little extra padding for the winter, but like, "woah, who are you and why did you eat Shelby??" Bad. So bad. Plus, copious amounts of keystone light didn't help... Luckily for me, I made the smartest decision ever. I moved back home. I moved away from the nonstop party life, the nonstop fast food trips, the nonstop ride to heart attack city. I changed my eating habits, starting taking care of my body, and began respecting myself. Go me, right? Hell yea, go me. I still cheat and have the occasional cheeseburger from Whataburger, or a couple of tacos from Taco Cabana. It's all about moderation, yo.

I'm actually quite proud of myself. Those kinds of habits are not easy to break. I did it though. It took about a year or so, but I did it. Being healthy feels so much better. Not gonna lie tho, kinda craving a cheeseburger now... #PMS but that's a whole nother blog post....

Worst weekend EVER.

Let me begin by saying that I am probably being a LOT overly dramatic about my weekend being the worst ever, but it was actually pretty terrible. So, here we go.

Friday
Wake up all feverish and cold and sickly at like 4 or 5 am. Sick, again. Literally 7 days since I was sick last. FML. Called into work and stayed in bed for most of the day. Eventually I moved to the couch to watch TV. It was raining outside. I was sick. I was home alone. Mother dearest had left for her ACTS retreat and Father was taking care of my Grandmother all weekend. I had no one to take care of my sickly self. I had to take care of myself. And my 7 animals. My dad needed me to bring him stuff for my grandma. Guess what? My car wouldn't start. So at this point.... 1) I'm sick. 2) I have to take care of 7 animals. 3) I have hardly any food in the house. 4) My car won't work, can't even go to the doctor. 5)It's raining cats & dogs outside.

Saturday
Still raining. Still sickly. Still had no food. Still had to take care of 2 cats, 5 dogs, and 1 Shelby. All I wanna do is eat something. I had to eat something. I had to make due with what I had (which definitely wasn't much). I had slightly under-cooked pasta and boring spaghetti sauce. I decided that laying on the couch and watching Law and Order SVU was a good idea, so I did that for a lot of hours. Then. Suddenly. I was hungry again :(  Once again I had to scrounge for food..... Luckily for me, my parents are smart and freeze food so it doesn't go bad. I found sausage and 2 hamburger patties and some chicken mole sauce. Until that stuff was thawed out, I was SOL. Chips were the next best thing, unless I wanted to eat a can of green beans. And I did not. Night time rolls around, and it's still raining. I actually didn't mind the rain. It was actually the highlight of my weekend. I enjoy the rain only when I'm laying down and doing nothing but eating chips and watching shitty movies or shitty TV. You know that old saying "alcohol is the best medicine"? Well that's probably not true but whatev. I drank 2 glasses of wine and then went to bed.

Sunday
My parentals are coming home at some point. Unfortunately, I was still not feeling good. The rain went away and the sun came out. I cleaned up the kitchen and the living room so that way when my parents got home they wouldn't think I laid around all weekend doing absolutely nothing but watch Law and Order SVU and eat..... They came home. I was back on the couch. The couch was where I remained for a good majority of the evening and into the night. Then. I went to bed.

So that was my horrible weekend summed up. I was sick. I was starving. I was bored. Awful. Hopefully someone out there had a better weekend than me. I can only hope....








Also, IT'S TACO TUESDAY Y'ALL.

WOW.

What a wonderful 3 day weekend! My 4th of July party was pretty fuckin rad, if I may say so myself. Although, I did run out of time and wasn't able to finish a lot of the stuff I really wanted to do. Oh well. Shit happens. And I totes forgot to take pics of all the food. OOPS. Oh well. Shit happens. I did get a couple of pics of some random stuff though so, without further ado, my 4th of July pics:

Just some of the decor outside. I made the red white and blue stuff by mixing red and blue food coloring and rice then layering the colors in random crap I had around the house. I think it turned out nicely. Thanks, Pinterest!

Another shot of some more decor and SANGRIA. I might have started drinking pretty darn early in the day.... Sorry not sorry.

And now for the good stuff, tequila shots on America's birthday because, LOGIC. amirite? #yolo I gueses
It was a darn good night.

So yea, that pretty much sums up the night. Pretty decorations and lots of booze. Like I said, it was a really good night. 

I'm just mad that I didn't get any pictures of all the food. There was so much food. I could have fed a small army and their families. Like, no joke. Potato salad fa dayzzz tho.

How was your 4th of July? (Americans)

How was July 4th? (Non Americans)

XOXO <333

#mylife

Me, if/when I find out if I have celiac disease.

Goodbye donuts & bread & basically everything that is delicious.

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Did I mention that Amy Poehler is also my spirit animal?

Because she is. And that is why this picture is beyond perfect for my life/situation.