This just happened....

*getting made fun of for my unicorn stickers*

Me: "I'm obsessed with unicorns."

Dude: "Well at least you don't have a unicorn tattoo."

Me: "..........not yet..."

*le sigh* my life is a struggle.

Oh, HAI

Hello my lovelies! So so sooo sorry for the neglect lately! Life has been a whirlwind of nonstop activity!

Let's start with Christmas eve.
We (me, my mom and dad) spent the night at my grandma's and opened presents that night. It was quite lovely. My grandmother was so very happy, which makes me so very happy :)
Actual Christmas day was nuckin futs. I went home and worked on my mom's gift, a badass scrapbook, then wrapped presents for my 2nd family (Jordans family) and for my goddaughter. I went and spent some time with my 2nd family then went home and helped my mom with stuff and then we did our little family Christmas and "opened" presents. Literally, nothing was wrapped lol we basically just handed each other crap and said merry Christmas. It was beyond perfect for me and my grinch heart. After that I went to see my best friend and my goddaughter and ended up having a super fun Christmas night! My sweet baby goddaughter is so fucking cute it's unbelievable.

I'm not gonna lie. As I'm sitting here typing this blog post on my phone, I legit can't remember what my life was between Dec 26th and Dec 31st. Idk I was probably asleep a lot? Who knows. I've been sickly and dying so my brain is basically mush. Anyways, new years eve was fun! I was gonna just chillax and do nothing by myself but my BFF ended up coming over and we got drunk, lit some fireworks, and watched Selena. It was a spectacular new years eve celebration!

So I guess that's about it. I'm too out of it at the moment to create more sentences. Bye.

XOXO

Christmas and stuff.

As most of you know, I'm not a fan of Christmas. But this year, I'm trying really hard to not be such a fucking Grinch. Only because, prepare your tissues folks, it's probably my grandmothers last Christmas. So, yesterday after work, I took her a present to open early. It's a cute little red bird ornament (there's a story behind the whole red bird thing) and she LOVED it!! And then, I pulled a Shelby. I was looking for a place to hang it on their tree, and I fucking dropped it and it broke. Like, can I possibly be anymore clumsy?? Hashtag my life. That was a truly unfortunate moment. But I still have some radical gifts for her because I love her and she's an amazing woman. She is the only reason I am going to enjoy Christmas this year. Bring on the eggnog and let's jam to Jingle Bells.

This.

Somehow, I managed to completely catch up on all the stuff I missed at work on Friday. Like, I caught up really fast. Surprisingly fast. Maybe I'm on drugs? Anyways. Now I'm bored and hungry (whats new?) So I decided to visit my favorite website, Buzzfeed, to help me pass the time. My life has been forever changed by one article. My eyeballs popped outta my skull, I got major goosebumps, and there was definitely a puddle of drool when I picked my jaw up off the ground.

Check it out HERE.

#1 My stupid computer doesn't have speakers, so I'm letting my imagination go crazy.

#2 Less clothes, please. Or.. No clothes. ;)

#3 I definitely fell out of my chair. Ohh.

#4 I died and went to heaven.

#5 I came back to life, specifically so I could die and go to heaven again.

#6 A LOT is correct. Obsession, perfect.

#7 :O

#8 Bonus photos? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

#9 I'm drooling.

#10-14 Uhhh yea. Muscles for dayyys, y'all.

#15 It should be illegal for this sex god to wear a shirt.

#16-17 #dead #spankbank #ohgodmyovaries

#18 It's a good cause, AND he looks good wet.

#19-20 BULGE *faints*

#21-23 Hot damn, that boy is fiiiine.

#24 Like, look at those arms tho. Woah.

#25-26 Again, it should be illegal for this perfect man to wear shirts.

#27 I'll admit it. I'm thirsty af.

PMS tho

This month's pms is so fucking weird. All I wanna do is eat bean and cheese tacos and yell at everyone. And after I eat 185 bean and cheese tacos in one sitting, I really feel that lime jello topped with whipped cream would be the best way to end that eating sesh. All I can think about is tacos and sweets. Spicy hot sauce and sugary candies. Melty cheese and delectable donuts. Perfectly browned tortillas and warm brownies.
Not gonna lie. All this talk of food may or may not have just been slightly arousing to me.
I think I'm gonna go ahead and pretend like that just never happened. Anyways. Tacos, tho. I had 1 for breakfast, 2 for lunch, and 3 for dinner. I wish I was. joking. But I'm not. Sorry not sorry

✌☮

Another morning, another good mood. Life is seriously so wonderful. I can't help but think that karma might have something to say about that soon... History always repeats itself right? It has happened to me more times than I can count. I'll be really happy, and life will be working out just fine and then BAM Lady Karma swoops in and destroys everything in one swift move. Maybe it's my pessimistic attitude or maybe I'm just being paranoid.. Idk.. I just hope that things stay good. Not great, just good. Because I enjoy being happy.

Oh wow. Obviously to the readers of this blog, there was not a 2 hour span of time that passed from that last sentence to this one. But that happened. I may or may not be at work... LULZ what am I saying.. I'm always at work!! I very rarely like blogging from my phone because my autocorrect has a mind of its own.

Anyways. I had a point to where I was going with the first portion of this post, but alas, I cannot remember. I just can't dang diddily do dang do damn diddily darn do it. (Flanders). So I'm just gonna go off on a quick tangent/rant/idk/venting sesh. I know I've already blogged about how irritating it is when people assume I'm dumb.. But it kind of has an upside/silver lining. People think I'm dumb, so they think that I don't know that they're talking about me... Like, I'm just zoned out working on stuff on my computer. But hey. You're body gestures say a lot more than you think. Oh, and your little whispers? Yea I have hawk ears. (not sure if that's actually a thing, but whatever) I may not be able to hear every single word that people say, but I'm smart enough to put 2 & 2 together. I'm basically PMSing really hard right now and the littlest things are bothering me. I should punch something, but I won't.

Doggies & animalz

Guys. No one truly understands how much I love animals. (except probably Jordan and Victor)
Anyways, there's this stray that lives by the gas station near my house. I always pet him when I stop there. He's a big doggie and I love him. If I could, I'd give him a forever home but I can't because I already have 5 doggies... :( I named him Hank. He looks like a Hank. He has the coloring of a German Shepard but he's obviously a mix of other breeds. Ugh. He is just so gentle and sweet and super lovable. I love him. He kinda has this goofy face and if he could talk, I bet he would sound funny. Next time, I'll take a picture of him. When I first met him, he had a pit bull friend with a blue collar (but no tags). He was so cute and friendly too, but I think he's either dead or someone picked him up to give him a good home because he's a cute lil pit bull. I'm just gonna assume the second option is what happened. But now poor Hank is all alone. I just came up with a fun idea!! I'm gonna keep doggie treats/doggie food in my car so I can give him some when I see him! Yes! That is brilliant! I just wish I could rescue and save all the unwanted animals in the world :( and I wish I could pet and cuddle and love all the unwanted animals in the world :( I mean, I already love them all, but I wish I could give them loves and hugs and kisses and cuddles and treats. That would be so cool.

This time next year *fingers crossed* I'll be raising bunnies!!! Lil bun buns! AHHHHH!!!
I've been doing some intense thinking and deep soul-searching and I've come to the conclusion that I would make an excellent vet tech. Unfortunately, that requires school, and school costs money, and I'm already paying off my debt from college. Maybe one day I'll figure out a way to get my ass into vet tech school. I'm just so darn passionate when it comes to animals. Like, how rad would it be to help save the lives of lil doggies and kitties and other animals? It would be so effing rad.

But seriously though. Animals are my fav. When I see an animal,  I'm like "ahsajklajflsaj omgggg oh em geee look at that dog/cat/ferret/buffalo/chinchilla/hamster/goat/cow/etc" literally every time. Every. Single. Time. Then I have to physically fight the urge to pet/touch/hug said animal. It's a daily thing. Literally, it happens everyday.

So, children, the moral of this story is that I'm a crazy animal lover and I love all animals ever. This is the end of my animal blog post. Have a wonderful day my lovely readers <3

Thank you, cellular device.

Thank you for all that you do. You literally do everything. You give me directions when I'm lost, and get me out of the scary neighborhoods fairly quickly. You perform basic calculations which my little peanut brain cannot. You play music to drown out the sound of everything. You make me laugh by providing silly autocorrects, and you help me text when I forget how to English. You keep me entertained with bazillions of apps. You take pictures that make me look phenomenal. You sometimes drop calls, which is ok because I don't even really like talking on the phone to begin with. You save yourself from impending water damage by being virtually waterproof, but don't worry, I'm not going to drown you in a cup of tea or a bowl of toilet water. You wake me up for work every morning. You do so many wonderful things for me, phone.

But most importantly, you help me avoid social interaction in public. And for that, I love you.

Hypochondria & other things....

I, Shelby No Middle Name Deuvall, am a hypochondriac. In the past 3 days I have self-diagnosed myself with acid reflux disease, allergic asthma, and a sinus infection.

In other news, I have a badass puppy. Let me brag about my little bundle of furry joy. He is like 13 or 14 weeks old. He has never had any formal (or informal) potty training whatsoever. This weekend I took him with me to stay at the Netflix cave (aka my main squeeze's apartment). So I brought a bunch of shit to make sure we didn't have any accidents. I also bought a leash and collar, which he has also never worn/used in his few months of life. On our very first outing, he made poo and pee like a big boy and he was a natural on the leash #soproud. Long story short (because I'm running out of time): Friday night through Sunday night he didn't have a single accident inside and he didn't go all bark-crazy like some dogs do and he was a good lil pup all weekend. SOOO FRICK FRACKEN PROUD OF MY BABY BARCHIMEDES <3

Pro's & Con's of being a receptionist

I work as a receptionist 5 days a week and to be honest, I love my job. I work for an awesome company and my co-workers are all amazing humans. But unfortunately, my job isn't always rainbows and butterflies. So here is a list of pro's and con's of being a receptionist.

Pro's
I sit down a lot, which is radical for an ultra lazy person.
I talk a lot, which is awesome for a person who enjoys the sound of their own voice.
I don't have to do any "hard" work, like physical or mental.
I get to doodle when I talk on the phone.
I can keep up with my social media throughout the day.
I get an entire 60 mins for lunch if I want.
I can spin around in my desk chair when I get bored.
I get to send important sounding emails to people.
I'm literally on the phone right this very second.
I talk to people from all over the US.
I sometimes talk to people from all over the world.
I made a paper clip necklace once.
I can pinterest if I get bored.

Cons's
I get really bored sometimes.
I get frustrated when people from the east coast call because they have super dumb accents.
I have to do a lot of filing (papercuts make me sad).
Sitting makes me sleepy sometimes.

That's all I got for now. Maybe one day I'll add to this list. Who knows.

Animal Lover 4 Lyfe

I am now the proud owner of four dogs and two cats. Also I have a bunch of cows. Next year I will have a bunch of bunnies. I basically live in a zoo, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So, without further ado, here are pictures of all my fur babies.

Annabelle drooling, she's gross

Annabelle playing with her butt up

Barchimedes, the first picture of my babe after I got him yesterday

Barchimedes lounging & bein all cute

Clyde & Kittie probably plotting something

Look at those cute ass baby moo's

Barchimedes got a little dirty

Ginger girl bein all cute and shit

Jagger & Ginger playing and becoming bffs

Ginger is so proud of that dirty water bucket

I know I already posted this pic, but how could I not post it again? Ginger is too cute

Ginger and Jagger loungin

Kittie, being the majestic creature that she is

Barchimedes posing with mama (aka me)

Me and Ginger playing

And last, but not least, MY ANGEL CLYDETH WHOM I LOVE SO DEARLY

So there you have it. All my creatures. All my fur babies. All the members of my four-legged family. I love them all so freakin much its insane. Feel free to comment below and let me know how cute you think my fur babies are <333

Body Modifications.

Personally, I'm 100% for body modifications. If it makes you happy to poke a bunch of holes in your skin or to permanently ink your skin, then by all means do it. Who cares what the haters have to say. You do you, boo.
Next paycheck, I'm getting a tattoo or piercing. Not sure which yet though.

 I like this piercing a lot. I've wanted dermals for a while now. I would love to get them in this spot on the chest, only a little bit closer together and maybe a little closer to my nonexistent cleavage.

 Something a little more like this. But the dermals closer together, not all awkwardly far apart.

 I've also thought about doing them under my collar bones. I love both places so much, I might just end up with them all at some point.

I really like the idea of the three dermals in a row just on one side. But the only problem for me is that I'm weird and like for things to be even and centered. So, having 3 on one side and none on the other might frustrate me, because I'm so weird. Oh, well.

Man. I love the idea of a rose tattoo, no color just black shading and maybe some grey and white mixed in. On my right inner forearm. I found a couple of different variations and when it comes down to choosing, I'M FUCKED.

I just really love this one a lot. Like, a lot. It's so simple, yet beautiful. I wish I knew who drew it because I might end up with their artwork on my skin at some point. Idk man. There's just something about this particular rose tattoo that makes me happy. I really like it. Its got hints of the traditional tattoo style but at the same time its also got this subtle tenderness that makes me wanna cry. This is gonna be a tough decision.

Then you have this beauty. Its 100% traditional tattoo style and I think that style is absolutely magnificent. The shading on this would look so amazing on skin. And for me the placement of the leaves gives it that perfect shape to fit on the inner forearm. Once again, this is gonna be a really tough decision.

And then there's this lovely pretty drawing of three delicate roses. I feel if I ended up choosing this one I would just love it so much. The dainty delicate roses are just so lovely. And I'm also very much obsessed with anything floral print, so the fact this this somewhat resembles floral print makes this decision making process so much more difficult. It's just so pretty. So sooo pretty. I can't even. Ugh. This is gonna such a difficult decision. Also, I obviously wouldn't get it that small. This is just an example of the possibilities, which are apparently endless. *le sigh*

Last, but not least, this one. Minus the color. I'd much rather have it in black with shading (although the water color is absolutely gorgeous). But not as much shading as the tradition style tattoo. Like, subtle grayish shading. Because if I go with this one, I want it to have more of a vintage style look to it. Maybe a dark rust color shaded in with the black. I think it would be so pretty. Same goes for the other picture of the three roses. I'm never gonna be able to make a decision. OMG someone help me please.

Once upon a time..

In a galaxy far, far away, there lived a cool ass princess named Penelope. She had a pet tiger. They lived in a super neat castle in the middle of nowhere. There was a gross swamp in the backyard and tomato plants in the front. Princess Penelope was probably the coolest princess who ever lived. She liked to hang out and do cool stuff. She was also super nice.

One day there was a terrible storm and it blew the  roof right off of the north wing of Princess Penelope's awesome castle. Her pet tiger, whose name is Claude, used this rooflessness to escape from the castle. Princess Penelope was very upset that Claude would leave her. So, she went out on a search for Claude the tiger.

After traveling for about 10 minutes, Princess Penelope decided to stop and take a nap. She napped for probably like, 4 hours. Then, out of nowhere, this giant picked up the sleeping princess and put her in his pocket. Poor Princess Penelope didn't even know what was happening because she was in such a deep sleep. The giant went back to his giant house and put Princess Penelope in a tiny little cage. Well, it was a normal sized cage for Princess Penelope, but it was a tiny little cage compared to the giant. When Princess Penelope woke up, she was like, really confused. She could have sworn she fell asleep under a tree. That was when she noticed the giant in the humongous kitchen making a massive pot of soup. You should probably know that Princess Penelope is basically fearless. Like, she ain't scared of nuttin. So she called out the giant "yo whats up, why you gotta lock me up in the cage for???" And the giant was shocked at her terrible grammar. He was so shocked he opened the cage and let her go. "Yea, that's what I thought, fool" said Princess Penelope. Luckily for the princess, she knows a little known secret about giants. They can't stand to be around anyone or anything with bad grammar.

So she was back on her search for her loving and adorable tiger, Claude. After about 15 minutes of traveling, Princess Penelope made a stop at an adorable little cottage. She was so hungry after smelling the giant's soup. She knocked on the cottage door and a sweet little old lady answered. Princess Penelope could smell something sweet and delicious. "Could you possibly spare some food for a starving young princess?" asked Princess Penelope. "Why, yes child, come in! I have just baked a scrumptious cherry pie!" the old lady responded. So they went inside and ate some pie. It was like, really really good pie too. Princess Penelope got the recipe so she could make it for her and Claude. Then, she got really sad because she still couldn't find her precious pet anywhere. She asked the little old lady if she had seen a super cute tiger roaming around anywhere. The old lady said she saw the tiger about 10 minutes before the princess arrived. Princess Penelope said her thank you's and goodbye's and was off to find her tiger!

Princess Penelope was really missing her adorable little tiger, so she started calling out her name over and over again, "CLAUDE, WHERE ARE YOU CLAUDE?" Then out of nowhere, Claude jumps out from behind a bush and lovingly pounces on Princess Penelope! "Oh, Claude, my sweet baby I missed you!!" exclaimed the princess, "lets go home." Princess Penelope hopped on the back of her trusted tiger. Claude let out a mighty roar and they were off.

And they lived happily ever after!

Supernatural Appreciation Post...

Gettin real sick of my favorite shows killing off my favorite people.
Except Supernatural, no one stays dead for long on Supernatural.

Hmm.. Brilliant idea time.

If you are reading this, email me your address (or if you're ballsy, leave it in a comment) & I will mail you something.
I'll mail something to the first 3 people that either email or comment on this post.

& you bet ur boots its gonna be something nice & special! It'll include a handwritten letter and a neat surprise or 2 or 3. So why not?

If this works out, I'll consider doing it more often.
Btw, did I mention I'm super into arts & crafts? I love em. So the chances of you getting something one of a kind and hand made is like, really good.

Ok, so.. Go. Go on and gimme ur address. K, thanks!

Falling asleep & feeling my feelings.

So. Darn. Sleepy.
45 minutes until its FREEDOM time.
I have no work to do.
So I'm boredom blogging, again.
Sorry.
I just like putting my random thoughts out there into the universe.
It's better than keeping them bottled up in my brain.
Speaking of putting things out there in the universe... If you feel some type of an emotion towards another person, you should tell them. Regardless of the emotion. If someone makes you mad or upset, tell them. Tell them why they have upset you. They (hopefully) will realize their mistake and stop. If someone makes you happy, tell them. Tell them all the things they do that makes you happy. All the big things and even the little things. It's nice to know that you make someone else happy. If you love someone, tell them. Don't ever not tell someone that you love them. It could be the last time you see them. Life is crazy like that. If you have feelings for someone, tell them. Tell them how you feel about them. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you from telling them. Don't let the negative thoughts in. Tell them how you feel. What's the worst that could happen? They don't feel the same way? Then put on your big girl panties and move on. But. What if they do feel the same way? Then, go you! You now have a person who wants to be with you. That is an awesome feeling. And since you told that person how you feel, now you don't have to have the "what if's". Those are the worst.
Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. You just gotta let the universe do its thing.
Ride on little unicorn, ride on.

Can we all just take a moment of silence....

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Moment of silence is now over, thank you.

Hellooooo, Dolly!

hey, that's me

Looks like i'm the proud owner of a shiny new blog! Neat-o.

Basically, if you're reading this, you should know that I probably won't be posting anything of significance. Just the random things that pop into my mind at anytime of the day or night. 

For now, I'll go ahead and introduce myself:
- I'm weird awesome
- I have 2 cats and 2 dogs 
- I enjoy painting
- I also enjoy music 
- Food is life, literally
- Cooking makes me very happy
- My friends are super legit
- Yoga keeps my chakras balanced
- So does meditation
- I have one brother
- Receptionist by day, bartender by night
- Connoisseur of cheap wine
- Social drinker
- Daily smoker
- Drug free not by choice
- makeup makes me so very happy
- So do pretty dresses
- I'm obsessed with giraffes
- I think flowers are lovely
- Earl grey tea is a necessity every morning
- I'm sitting at my desk right now
- Camping is really cool
- But i never get to do it :(
- I can make a damn good smoothie
- I think i'll end this list with one of my favorite quotes

"Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyways."