This just happened....

*getting made fun of for my unicorn stickers*

Me: "I'm obsessed with unicorns."

Dude: "Well at least you don't have a unicorn tattoo."

Me: "..........not yet..."

*le sigh* my life is a struggle.

This.

Somehow, I managed to completely catch up on all the stuff I missed at work on Friday. Like, I caught up really fast. Surprisingly fast. Maybe I'm on drugs? Anyways. Now I'm bored and hungry (whats new?) So I decided to visit my favorite website, Buzzfeed, to help me pass the time. My life has been forever changed by one article. My eyeballs popped outta my skull, I got major goosebumps, and there was definitely a puddle of drool when I picked my jaw up off the ground.

Check it out HERE.

#1 My stupid computer doesn't have speakers, so I'm letting my imagination go crazy.

#2 Less clothes, please. Or.. No clothes. ;)

#3 I definitely fell out of my chair. Ohh.

#4 I died and went to heaven.

#5 I came back to life, specifically so I could die and go to heaven again.

#6 A LOT is correct. Obsession, perfect.

#7 :O

#8 Bonus photos? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

#9 I'm drooling.

#10-14 Uhhh yea. Muscles for dayyys, y'all.

#15 It should be illegal for this sex god to wear a shirt.

#16-17 #dead #spankbank #ohgodmyovaries

#18 It's a good cause, AND he looks good wet.

#19-20 BULGE *faints*

#21-23 Hot damn, that boy is fiiiine.

#24 Like, look at those arms tho. Woah.

#25-26 Again, it should be illegal for this perfect man to wear shirts.

#27 I'll admit it. I'm thirsty af.

Rude.

So today I'm rockin my new favorite Zeppelin tee, and obviously I look cute af *hairflip* and this dude says to me, "How do you even know who Led Zeppelin is? What are  you, like, 19?" 

Um.

.

..

...

.....

...

..

.

1. Thank you for the compliment, but I'm actually 25 *another hairflip*

2. How dare you insult my music taste.

3. I may be young, but I have an old soul.

4. Obviously, I know good music when I hear it.

Oops

I just realized that my last few posts have been really bitchy and clearly I've been in a bad mood. Oops. I'm not even pmsing so I don't have an excuse for my pissy attitude. I'm sitting here just borderline boiling mad and it's to the point where I now have a massive headache.

I'm done. I'm turning my mood around now.

Plus, a coworker just gave me a soda and told me how pale I look. Pale is the new tan, y'all. Honestly, I think I just need to sleep for 5 days straight and I'll be golden. I'm officially too old to YOLO like I did this past weekend. Too much booze, not enough sleep. I'm basically a grandma now. Eventually I'll get around to posting about how fabulous my birthday weekend was. But for now, just know that it was literally the best birthday I've ever had. K, I'm busy at work so byeeeeeeee.

Poo

My dog, Ginger, dropped a rather large poo bomb this morning in the garage. It was horrid. My mom cleaned it for me, shes nice like that. But damn, that stench tho.

For some strange reason, I've been referring to poo as doody all morning. I think I need more sleep.

That is all I have to say at the moment. Carry on.

Never again & some life updates

Today, I decided to branch out and try something new. I tried lemon herbal tea. It's fucking nasty. Never again. Ever. I'll just stick with earl grey or green tea..

Life update 1:
Clyde has been extra cuddley lately. I'm pretty sure its and experiment since she's plotting my death and what not.... Oh well, I'm just happy for cuddles with my child.

Life update 2:
I straightened my hair two days in a row. That is a HUGE deal because I usually look like I have hobo hair. Idk, there's just something about this chilly weather that makes me wanna show off my shiny black hair, and actually brush it regularly too.

Life update 3:
My birthday is coming up in less than a month. -_- laaaaame. All I wanna do for my birthday is sit in a dark room with my cat and drink a few bottles of wine while wallowing in self-pity. Not a big fan of the aging process...

Life update 4:
I lost 5lbs in month. Hurrayy!!

Ok, well those are all of the life updates that I can think of. Have a nice day!

Questions, questions, questions.

I'm very curious. I'd like to know who is out there reading all of my random-ass blog posts. Comment/email/text/facebook/tweet/send me a smoke signal!! I think it would be fun to communicate with the people I don't actually know in real life. K. Well that's all I really wanted to say.

Soooo, this is the part where you're supposed to decide which way to contact me. (Personally, I'm a fan of comments or emails)

*~*~*who knows, if I'm randomly feeling lovey and whatnot, I'll maybe possibly send you a surprise*~*~*

If only..

If I could, I'd take a nap under my desk right now. That's how sleepy I am.
Legit struggling to keep my eyes open. Speaking of eyes, there's a pain behind my left one.
It's only Tuesday. Welcome to the never-ending work week. Ugh.

The complaints are going to stop now. I am reminding myself of all the wonderful things that are happening in my life. For instance, right this very moment I'm messaging my brother, who's in Africa playing with lions and giraffes and ebola. He comes home at the end of January or the beginning of February. Cannot. Frickin. Wait.

I'm out of things to say.

That awesome WTF moment....

You know that moment, when you get all excited about something you've been mentally planning for minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, millenniums, etc.. and then BOOM outta nowhere, shit happens and basically fucks everything up? That literally just happened to me. WTF.

I carpooled with my father today.. So I'm without a vehicle at work. On any other day, that wouldn't be a problem, except today. For some strange reason, I'm actually hungry. I'm never hungry at lunch time... So here I am planning a quick trip to the gas station/subway because sammiches are life, I need a red bull, and I need smokes. Then I just happened to look outside into the parking lot where my car is not...

What.

The.

Fuck.

Such hunger :( I just have granola and almonds. Oh, joy.

WHY

I'm getting a pms pimple on my left nostril. No fun.

BRB, gonna go cut my nose off, don't need it no mo.

Also, my hair be lookin cray cray todayday. BYE.

Starbucks, yo.

I skipped work this morning. But not because I'm a rebel. Well, I am a rebel, but just on weekends. So anyways, I went to the doctor. Everything is all normal & what not. THEN, I remembered on my way to work there's a starbucks! You should know now, I am not a coffee drinker it makes me feel nauseous. You should also know that I drink Earl Gray tea every morning. So starbucks. I needed my daily caffeine fix & something for lunch. My life has forever been changed, y'all. The Early Gray tea has crack in it. Like, actually addicting crack. It's life changing and 110% better than the Tazo box of Earl Gray that I buy from the store, even though it's literally the same exact thing. Like, wtf starbucks? Stop turning me into a tea-addicted crack addict. Well, that's been my morning so far. Also, if you're wondering, I got a zesty black bean and chicken salad for lunch. Can you say overpriced? It better be the greatest salad to ever enter my mouth hole. Just sayin.... Ok well I need to get to work now. Byeeeeeeeeeee.

Oh hai.

I just wanted to see how this would work.
So here it is.
OK, bye.