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Tired.

Hey guys and gals. It's been a while, huh? I need a bit of a rant moment, except I'm not mad or anything. I literally feel nothing right now. I am beyond emotionally exhausted. Literally, all of my emotions have been fully drained and what's left is a shriveled up, pathetic empty shell. If I went to sleep right now, I'm 100% sure I'd sleep for at least 14 hours straight. My head hurts. My back hurts. My shoulder hurts. My joints hurt. Everything hurts. Who knew being emotionally drained would be this physically painful..? The entire month of January has been a blur. I've been walking around for a month in a complete daze. My mind feels foggy. It's a strange thing to realize that an entire month has passed and I barely remember any of it. Here's a small glimmer of positivity: it can only get better from here.

Woah.

If my life could just chill out for like a day that would be great. Too much stuff is happening at once and its overwhelming as fuck. I just wanna sleep for a week straight.

The cold weather is bumming me out.
My allergies are bumming me out.
Having a bazillion doctors appointments is bumming me out.
The fact that my grandma is dying is bumming me out.
Family drama is bumming me out.
Feeling sick all the time is bumming me out.
Being awake right now is bumming me out.
Life in general is bumming me out.

This just happened....

*getting made fun of for my unicorn stickers*

Me: "I'm obsessed with unicorns."

Dude: "Well at least you don't have a unicorn tattoo."

Me: "..........not yet..."

*le sigh* my life is a struggle.

Holy hell. Monday.

Monday is never a good day. Today is Monday, and today is not a good day. I'm cranky, I'm tired, I feel like complaining for no reason at all, and I don't feel good.
Currently taking a quick mental  health break from work. My brain is fried.

Oh, and I was definitely late for work this morning. Like, seriously? My alarm somehow turned itself off while I was asleep, I guess... JK I know I probably turned it off in my sleep. It's a habit.

So, yea. Fuck today.

Dumb people.

Nothing irritates me more than dumb people.
If I say "I can give you the number for the tech line" and your response is "you can't transfer me?" then I automatically hate you. No I can't fucking transfer you. I CAN GIVE YOU THE NUMBER TO THE TECH LINE. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF TRANSFERRING YOU WAS AN OPTION, I'D TELL YOU?!?1 Fuck. You.

It's a new year, y'all

I know making new years resolutions are silly, and they don't even last long.. But IDGAF. I'm making one because this year is all about ME. Bettering myself as a person, continuing on the path to self-actualization, becoming more in tune with my body, etc, etc.. So without further ado, here is my 2015 New Years Resolutions!

Main Improvements, AKA the "MUST DO'S"

• Reduce Debt: I have a huge pile of debt that's basically ruining my life. It's one of the main causes of stress in my life. This new year, I am going to stay committed to getting rid of a good chunk of this debt.
• Reach Goal Weight: When I first moved back to San Antonio, I changed my lifestyle drastically. I stuck to it for quite a while, but over the last several months I've kinda stopped. It's time for me to get back on track. Having a healthy lifestyle that's totally manageable is definitely going to help me become a better me.
• Building Some Abs: (I already know I'm not capable of developing an actual six-pack, but I'm determined to at least have some definition in my belly by the end of the year!!!)

Art and Creativity, letting out the true artist in me

• Blog More: So what if like, 3 people read my blog a day,  blogging has become pretty therapeutic for me and it's a nice way to go back and reflect on the things I've done, one day at a time. This year, I'm gonna step up my blogging game.
• Redecorate My Bedroom: It's already beautiful at the moment, but my life mantra is "everything is a work in progress" so I'm going to slowly redecorate and basically go all feng shui in my room.
• Start/Finish More Paintings: I love my easel and I love my new personalized smock, so why haven't I been creating art? New year, new projects! I can already feel the creative juices flowing!
• Start Journaling: I bought a cute little journal online the other day, now I just need it to hurry up and get here so I can start it! By the end of the year, it's going to be completely filled out!

Adventure, AKA time to explore more

• Read 5 New Books: I was on a roll for a few months last year reading books, but suddenly I was "too busy". So this year I am going to read at least 5 new books. I already know I've got a stack of at least 15 unread books to choose from.
• Go To Festivals: ACL and SXSW are an absolute must!! But I did a little research and found a few more that I'd love to go too as well. Austin Psych Fest presents Levitation, Free Press Summer Fest, Red Gorilla Music Fest, and Rockport Festival of Wine and Food. If I could make it to at least 2 of these, I will feel accomplished by the end of the year. Time to start saving up!

Well, there ya have it. My very long, slightly detailed New Years Resolution list. I am so  happy that I can post it on my blog to keep myself accountable for actually sticking with it! 2015 is going to be an amazing year for me, I can feel it! Thanks in advanced to my main bitches for being my support system to help me reach my goals, xoxo.

Oh, HAI

Hello my lovelies! So so sooo sorry for the neglect lately! Life has been a whirlwind of nonstop activity!

Let's start with Christmas eve.
We (me, my mom and dad) spent the night at my grandma's and opened presents that night. It was quite lovely. My grandmother was so very happy, which makes me so very happy :)
Actual Christmas day was nuckin futs. I went home and worked on my mom's gift, a badass scrapbook, then wrapped presents for my 2nd family (Jordans family) and for my goddaughter. I went and spent some time with my 2nd family then went home and helped my mom with stuff and then we did our little family Christmas and "opened" presents. Literally, nothing was wrapped lol we basically just handed each other crap and said merry Christmas. It was beyond perfect for me and my grinch heart. After that I went to see my best friend and my goddaughter and ended up having a super fun Christmas night! My sweet baby goddaughter is so fucking cute it's unbelievable.

I'm not gonna lie. As I'm sitting here typing this blog post on my phone, I legit can't remember what my life was between Dec 26th and Dec 31st. Idk I was probably asleep a lot? Who knows. I've been sickly and dying so my brain is basically mush. Anyways, new years eve was fun! I was gonna just chillax and do nothing by myself but my BFF ended up coming over and we got drunk, lit some fireworks, and watched Selena. It was a spectacular new years eve celebration!

So I guess that's about it. I'm too out of it at the moment to create more sentences. Bye.

XOXO

Christmas and stuff.

As most of you know, I'm not a fan of Christmas. But this year, I'm trying really hard to not be such a fucking Grinch. Only because, prepare your tissues folks, it's probably my grandmothers last Christmas. So, yesterday after work, I took her a present to open early. It's a cute little red bird ornament (there's a story behind the whole red bird thing) and she LOVED it!! And then, I pulled a Shelby. I was looking for a place to hang it on their tree, and I fucking dropped it and it broke. Like, can I possibly be anymore clumsy?? Hashtag my life. That was a truly unfortunate moment. But I still have some radical gifts for her because I love her and she's an amazing woman. She is the only reason I am going to enjoy Christmas this year. Bring on the eggnog and let's jam to Jingle Bells.

This.

Somehow, I managed to completely catch up on all the stuff I missed at work on Friday. Like, I caught up really fast. Surprisingly fast. Maybe I'm on drugs? Anyways. Now I'm bored and hungry (whats new?) So I decided to visit my favorite website, Buzzfeed, to help me pass the time. My life has been forever changed by one article. My eyeballs popped outta my skull, I got major goosebumps, and there was definitely a puddle of drool when I picked my jaw up off the ground.

Check it out HERE.

#1 My stupid computer doesn't have speakers, so I'm letting my imagination go crazy.

#2 Less clothes, please. Or.. No clothes. ;)

#3 I definitely fell out of my chair. Ohh.

#4 I died and went to heaven.

#5 I came back to life, specifically so I could die and go to heaven again.

#6 A LOT is correct. Obsession, perfect.

#7 :O

#8 Bonus photos? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

#9 I'm drooling.

#10-14 Uhhh yea. Muscles for dayyys, y'all.

#15 It should be illegal for this sex god to wear a shirt.

#16-17 #dead #spankbank #ohgodmyovaries

#18 It's a good cause, AND he looks good wet.

#19-20 BULGE *faints*

#21-23 Hot damn, that boy is fiiiine.

#24 Like, look at those arms tho. Woah.

#25-26 Again, it should be illegal for this perfect man to wear shirts.

#27 I'll admit it. I'm thirsty af.

Today's adventure.

My adventure began in the parking lot at work. I was leaving to go to the doctor and I saw a friend and stopped to say hi. He then said to another friend "Isn't she the hottest thing you've ever seen?" kinda made me feel good and then I felt awkward lulz. Then I was driving downtown and I saw a teeny tiny little car. I felt as if I could've picked it up and put it in my pocket. It wasn't one of those stupid clown looking smart cars though. This one was like, an old sports car or something. Idk. It was neat and cute and miniature. Next, I was walking downtown to my doctors office with my headphones in, so I couldn't hear anything. I had to walk past the a bus stop where there are usually people with questionable morals and attitudes.. I'm pretty sure this guy eye-sexed me and probably said something vulgar. Luckily I couldn't hear him or else I probably would've slapped him in his little hoodlum face. JK, I would've just ignored it and kept walking. Anyways, I got to the building and was in the elevator with some people. There was this super cute old couple and the lady kept smiling at me. As I got off on the 14th floor, I heard the lady say to her husband, "That girl had an earring in her nose!" She obviously noticed my septum ring because I flipped it back down after I left the office. Hahaha how adorable are old people, am I right? Next, I waited patiently in the waiting room and then my doctor came in. We discussed my shoulder problems. I'm gonna try physical therapy first and if that doesn't work, she's going to refer me to a shoulder specialist. I didn't even know that a shoulder specialist was a thing, but apparently it is. So that's pretty neat. Now I'm sitting in my car about to drive back to work. I'm legit contemplating a quick power nap.. I mean, I'm in a parking garage, no one will see me...? Nah, I probably should just suck it up and go back to work. I have a busy afternoon ahead of me. K, byeeeee.

Quick update to kill some time

My job freakin rocks. Despite the fact that I've been busy as fuuuck this week, I'm so incredibly thrilled with all of the stuff that I've been doing! This is gonna sound super lame (sorry not sorry), but like, I finally feel like I'm actually worth something to VP. Lame. Told ya. But really though.. My boss has been giving me some somewhat important shit to do. So that's pretty neat and stuff.

My appetite has finally decided to come back. I haven't been hungry for like the last 4 months, maybe even longer than that. Now that I'm suddenly hungry again, I feel the need to create random concoctions in my kitchen. But sadly, I haven't because I'm too sleepy. Which brings me to my next update....

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see what my next move is in trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with my shoulder. Hopefully, I'm not dying. But then again, no more student loans......... And I've FINALLY made an appointment with a dermatologist to get all my crazy spots checked out. I'd like to cross off shoulder cancer (which isn't actually a real thing) and skin cancer off my list of possible diseases/illnesses.

That's all I have for now. Gotta get back to work!

Things that I disike.

When rings turn my fingers green.
Losing my pencil, then finding it in my hair later.
Hitting my funny bone.
Paper cuts.
Forgetting where I put stuff.
Forgetting how to spell my name.
Flat and/or warm Dr Pepper.
When people tell me merry Christmas and expect me to respond.
Christmas music.
Burning my tongue on hot food.
When hot food burns all the way down my throat.
Not sleeping in.
Not having time for a nap.
Being sleepy.
Gaining weight.
Trying to diet, then seeing pizza.
Accidentally punching myself in the face.
Having food stuck in my teeth.
The word "moist".
The word "ergo".
Random bruises.
When I trip and fall on the ground.
When I run into things.
Accidentally cutting myself with an object that isn't even sharp.
Rude people.
Overly cheerful people.
Loud people.
People.
Smudging my eye makeup.
Wearing a bra.
Wearing pants.
Being too hot.
Being too cold.
Uncomfortable shoes.
Bumping my head when I get out of cars.
Bumping my head when I get in cars.
Not being able to find my keys in my messy purse.
Having to clean out my messy purse.
When people say one thing, then do the opposite.
Running out of hot water.
Math.
Getting headaches from clenching my teeth.
When strangers feel the need to touch me.
Chapped lips.
Cold feet.
Losing one shoe.
When my eyelashes clump together.
Tummy aches.
Making decisions.
When my hair is dirty.
When my hair is messy.
When my hair is tangled.
When my hair is stinky.
Not owning a Keurig.
Being thirsty.
Being hungry.
Going to lady doctor.
Not being able to fall asleep.

Sleep is my best friend.

Literally, I'm so good at sleeping. After work yesterday, I took a nap probably around 5:30ish and slept til 1am. Then I got up and ate some food and watched some TV and went back to sleep around 4am. My internal alarm clock woke me up at 8am and I said, "Fuck that" and went back to sleep til noon. That's like 17 hours of sleep. How is that even possible?

Rude.

So today I'm rockin my new favorite Zeppelin tee, and obviously I look cute af *hairflip* and this dude says to me, "How do you even know who Led Zeppelin is? What are  you, like, 19?" 

Um.

.

..

...

.....

...

..

.

1. Thank you for the compliment, but I'm actually 25 *another hairflip*

2. How dare you insult my music taste.

3. I may be young, but I have an old soul.

4. Obviously, I know good music when I hear it.

Oh, my life..

As we all know, my life is a joke sometimes. This is an unarguable fact. So this morning, I'm just driving driving to work like I usually do every morning. Then all of the sudden my car does this thing and I'm like, "Woah, car. What are you doing?" and my car is like, "Woah, Shelby. I'm out of gas." So, yea. My car ran out of gas this morning and I was almost to work. But, wait. There's more! Ready for the punchline of this joke that is my life? I stopped at the gas station this morning for cigarettes and red bull. Like, really? LULZ. Can my life possibly get anymore ridiculous?  -_-

Luckily, there were tacos at the office this morning.