Things that I disike.

When rings turn my fingers green.
Losing my pencil, then finding it in my hair later.
Hitting my funny bone.
Paper cuts.
Forgetting where I put stuff.
Forgetting how to spell my name.
Flat and/or warm Dr Pepper.
When people tell me merry Christmas and expect me to respond.
Christmas music.
Burning my tongue on hot food.
When hot food burns all the way down my throat.
Not sleeping in.
Not having time for a nap.
Being sleepy.
Gaining weight.
Trying to diet, then seeing pizza.
Accidentally punching myself in the face.
Having food stuck in my teeth.
The word "moist".
The word "ergo".
Random bruises.
When I trip and fall on the ground.
When I run into things.
Accidentally cutting myself with an object that isn't even sharp.
Rude people.
Overly cheerful people.
Loud people.
People.
Smudging my eye makeup.
Wearing a bra.
Wearing pants.
Being too hot.
Being too cold.
Uncomfortable shoes.
Bumping my head when I get out of cars.
Bumping my head when I get in cars.
Not being able to find my keys in my messy purse.
Having to clean out my messy purse.
When people say one thing, then do the opposite.
Running out of hot water.
Math.
Getting headaches from clenching my teeth.
When strangers feel the need to touch me.
Chapped lips.
Cold feet.
Losing one shoe.
When my eyelashes clump together.
Tummy aches.
Making decisions.
When my hair is dirty.
When my hair is messy.
When my hair is tangled.
When my hair is stinky.
Not owning a Keurig.
Being thirsty.
Being hungry.
Going to lady doctor.
Not being able to fall asleep.

Oh, my life..

As we all know, my life is a joke sometimes. This is an unarguable fact. So this morning, I'm just driving driving to work like I usually do every morning. Then all of the sudden my car does this thing and I'm like, "Woah, car. What are you doing?" and my car is like, "Woah, Shelby. I'm out of gas." So, yea. My car ran out of gas this morning and I was almost to work. But, wait. There's more! Ready for the punchline of this joke that is my life? I stopped at the gas station this morning for cigarettes and red bull. Like, really? LULZ. Can my life possibly get anymore ridiculous?  -_-

Luckily, there were tacos at the office this morning.

#24 What you're addicted to, and why.

1. Cigarettes.

I've been smoking for almost 4 years straight, and I smoked on and off starting at the age of 16. Obviously, I've tried to quit before.. But, damn. That shits hard to do. I'm addicted to cigarettes and nicotine. Maybe one day I'll actually quit..........

2. Shopping. 

Yes, I know it's a 'typical girl' thing, and I'm basically a dude, but I'm for real addicted to shopping. It's how I cope with the feels that life gives me occasionally. Plus, I like looking cute when I venture out in public.

3. Television.
Who doesn't love a good TV show? Am I right? I'm definitely not into reality shows though. 99.9999999%o of them are crap. BUT, I am very much obsessed with Bad Girls Club. Don't ask why, because I don't know. I'm into shows with good character development, and a good plot. Drama, drama, drama, and laughs.

4. Twirling my hair.
It's not a 'nervous habit' or even a habit for that matter. It's a full-blown addiction. I touching soft things. My hair is soft (most of the time). I feel the constant need to twirl it around my fingers and to touch it. This is why I wear my hair up a lot lol I don't want all my hairs falling out because I twirled them too much or too  hard..

5. My cat.
I love my cat. I know it's probably not really technically an addiction, but I love my baby Clyde so much!!! She's soft and sometimes cuddley. The reason I'm putting this on the list is because I like to give her kisses on her nose and I like to smell her. Yes, I like to smell my cat. Her face and her back.. She smells good.

Life updates & stuffs

Well, it appears that I have neglected my beautiful blog and for that I apologize. LOL JK sorry not sorry. Anyhoo. So, Thanksgiving was last week. It was nice, minus the fact that there is a rude person in my family who clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone else's feelings beside their own. UGH. Yea. Other than that, Thanksgiving was quite lovely. The food was fantastic. The beer was ice cold. The weather was lovely. And I also took a trip down memory lane by visiting the house I grew up in. So many strangely wonderful memories. Good times, man. Good times.

And now, today is December 2nd. It is also Tuesday. The start of my birthday week/month. -_- I'm turning 25 on Thursday and I'm kind of bummed. I don't like odd number years, they're always difficult years for me. But luckily for me, I have some super awesome people in my life. I'm not even gonna worry about it.

Ok, here are some important life updates since my last blog post:

Firstly, you must know that I have zero intention of proofreading this post. So if there is a typo or mistake, you can build yourself a bridge and get the fuck over it :D

I started training yesterday to sort and deliver the mail. It's pretty easy, but some parts of it are a bit confusing. After a week or so I'll probably get the hang of it.

Two of my pups got fixed last week. Ginger got her tubes tied and Barchimedes lost his manhood. I feel bad for the lil guy, he worked so hard on growing his lil balls and we just let them get chopped off. And poor Ginger, she had some minor difficulties during the surgery. Her breathing slowed down too much so they had to stitch her up real fast. We had to keep her confined for days. That dog is cray cray though and loves to jump around like a psycho. So that was fun trying to get her back in the kennel. But they're doing good now. You can't even tell they had major surgery a week ago! Hashtag BALLIN.

My PMS was fucking crazy. Like, fucking mental breakdown, crying for no fucking reason, eating all the food, and trying to sleep for 37 hours straight. That's all I have to say about that.

Last night me & my dad made some fucking tasty chili. Y'all. It's so good. I just wanna eat 12 gallons of it in one sitting. There were no eggs in the fridge, so no cornbread. We subbed white rice instead, which is what I'm eating for lunch in less than an hour. Hurray!!

Remember that one blog post a while back, when I asked for good vibes and prayers and shit but wasn't ready to spill why? Well, I've been job hunting. Looking for a better paying job, preferably a state job. I was thinking I could find a way to pinch all 7 pennies I have and get my own apartment, but unfortunately that's not an option at this point in my life. Hashtag sad day. But I think I'm might rethink the whole "finding a new job" thing. My boss is leaving the company, which means I could 1. get a promotion 2. get a raise and/or 3. get a new office (lol jk, I'm still the best receptionist ever). But I'm for sure having more responsibility around the office. The new boss has already got me training for the mail delivery, and we discussed me possibly being in charge of ordering office supplies. Like, woah. I'm kind of a pro at organization, so OBVI the first thing I'm going to do is reorganize the supply room, duh.  I'm just really hoping for a pay raise though... So send me those good vibes, y'all!! And for the new job stuff, too. I've got some good prospects. Like, 4 or maybe 5 of my applications for city jobs have been sent the hiring manager in those specific departments. Keeping my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed!!

Oh, yea!! I know I already said it, but my birthday is on Thursday (day after tomorrow). Here are my awesome plans: Dinner at 54th street grill because I've literally been craving it for MONTHS. Bar hopping near Jordan's apartment (Boneheads, Wurzbach Ice House, 4th Quarter). Then the after party is going to be at Jordan's/TJ's. TJ has a wii and those are fun to play when you're drunk. And I plan on being pretty effin drunk.

I think that's all I have for now. I guess I'll leave you with this:

Cray cray dreams last night

I had some very interesting dreams last night (thank you, cough meds).

The first one I can remember, my mom and I were arguing about my laundry. She was freaking out because the washing machine made two of my shirts huge and I kept yelling at her that that's how they're supposed to be. Fuckin weird.

The second one I can remember, basically I was dreaming about makeup. I had all this cool new makeup and all these different kinds of eye brow kits. One of the brow kits I had was specifically to match what I thought was my hair color but when I used it, it turned half of my face powdery purple.. Then I had a panic attack because suddenly I remembered I was running late for something (typical) and that is all I remember.

My brain is strange.

Why am I such an awkward person?

This just happened:
*ending a phone call*
Me- thanks
Guy- you're welcome
Me- you too
Guy- um, have a good day
Me- ...you too. byee.

Like, why? Why does this happen? Is it just me or is ending a phone conversation with a stranger like, the most awkward thing ever? Oh.. It's just me? Ok, cool beanz.

BRB, gonna go play in traffic.

Sorry for the neglect, y'all.

Work has been crazy busy and I obviously haven't had much time to blog about how boring my life is. And for that, I apologize.
Here's a quick update on my life:
1. WWIII is currently happening in my uterus.
2. I'm forever sleepy.
3. I've consumed roughly 7.9 million lbs of chocolate this week.
4. Clyde has been adorbs and cuddley, I think it's because she knows I'm dying.
5. I got drunk last Saturday. It was good times.
6. This is the end.

:(

Last night as I was falling slowly into a peaceful slumber, I had an ingenious idea for a new blog. I thought to myself, "Self, you should probably write this amazing idea down." "Nah, I'll just make a cool little song to remember it."

Do you think I remember? No. I don't remember. This is disappointing.


Now I know how my parents feel #lol #jk

Yesterday

I'm not a very shy person. I have no filter and most of the time my mouth moves faster than my mind. But occasionally, hot guys make me feel a bit nervous and shy. So yesterday, I saw a hot guy. I said hi to him. Unfortunately, we were driving on the highway, he was in another car, and he obviously couldn't hear me.

#MYLIFE 

Today's Random Thought

I have decided that I need to come up with a new, more awesome drunken alter ego name. She used to be called Tasha, but now its just not the same.

PENELOPE. That's also the name of my GPS. But I have chosen this as my alter ego's name. Penelope. I like it.

Now I need to find a good last name to go with it.

After doing a little research, its been narrowed down to:
Penelope Fairchild
Penelope Banks
Penelope Sinclair
Penelope Peck
Penelope Wolfe

I feel like they are all legit sounding last names..
Time to do some pondering.


***UPDATE***
Still haven't chosen a last name. Check the comments later for my final decision!! This is such a big deal, y'all have no idea. JK, its inconsequential. My life is boring.

Hellooooo, Dolly!

hey, that's me

Looks like i'm the proud owner of a shiny new blog! Neat-o.

Basically, if you're reading this, you should know that I probably won't be posting anything of significance. Just the random things that pop into my mind at anytime of the day or night. 

For now, I'll go ahead and introduce myself:
- I'm weird awesome
- I have 2 cats and 2 dogs 
- I enjoy painting
- I also enjoy music 
- Food is life, literally
- Cooking makes me very happy
- My friends are super legit
- Yoga keeps my chakras balanced
- So does meditation
- I have one brother
- Receptionist by day, bartender by night
- Connoisseur of cheap wine
- Social drinker
- Daily smoker
- Drug free not by choice
- makeup makes me so very happy
- So do pretty dresses
- I'm obsessed with giraffes
- I think flowers are lovely
- Earl grey tea is a necessity every morning
- I'm sitting at my desk right now
- Camping is really cool
- But i never get to do it :(
- I can make a damn good smoothie
- I think i'll end this list with one of my favorite quotes

"Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyways."