Dumb people.

Nothing irritates me more than dumb people.
If I say "I can give you the number for the tech line" and your response is "you can't transfer me?" then I automatically hate you. No I can't fucking transfer you. I CAN GIVE YOU THE NUMBER TO THE TECH LINE. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF TRANSFERRING YOU WAS AN OPTION, I'D TELL YOU?!?1 Fuck. You.

Wow.

My absentmindedness is getting out of control. Wanna know what I did today? It's dumb.. So dumb. I feel like a friggin idiot.

Yesterday morning, I made my tea, per usual. The stupid little paper thingy fell off so I was like "whatevs" and just left the tea bags in my travel mug for extra oomph in my tea. Silly Penelope forgot to dump the old saggy tea bags this morning when I made my tea. And unfortunately, the tea that I used yesterday morning was the last of my Earl Gray so I made green tea. Sooooo lo and behold, the first sip of my tea was quite a disgusting shock when I realized that I mixed Earl Gray and green tea. It's nasty. But I needed the caffeine so bad I drank it anyways.

So yea.

Hashtag my life.

And then, this morning, my boss brought strawberry cupcakes. I ate a cupcake for breakfast. Pretty ballin, if you ask me. Along with my usual Hershey's kisses that I rarely eat and that live in my snack drawer, I got a grape lollipop. And then a co-worker (who buys me lunch occasionally) asked if I wanted anything from this Mexican restaurant down the street. TACOS. Well, actually just one bean and cheese taco but whatever, it's still a taco and I am still happy. Then, my work mom asked me if I brought a lunch today and if not she has a frozen lasagna for me. Like, why is everyone figuratively throwing food at me??? <<<NOT A COMPLAINT. I mean, I love me some food. That's fer dam shure. But like, I'm lacking an actual appetite so idk what to do with all these foods in my life. This is horrible and awesome at the same time. Bittersweet.

Can someone explain this to me?

How on earth is it 2014 and people are still so goddamn judgmental? Like, seriously. Race/sex/religion/ethnicity/etc shouldn't be such a big fuckin deal. If I believe in Buddha, who the fuck cares?  If I'm black, why is a fuckin problem? IT SHOULDN'T BE. It's nobody's goddamn business what the fuck anyone looks like, believes, or does. People should learn to worry more about what they are doing and less about what others are doing.

Can we all just be friends and skip through a field of daisies holding hands? I'd love that. Can we just hang out and order pizza and talk about how beautiful the moon is? I'd love that too. Can we just stop fighting about pointless stuff and get along? That would be lovely. Can we stop sending bombs and crap and start sending stuffed animals and candy? People would probably enjoy that way more.

I'm just sayin. Life could be a lot easier.

Monday Rant

My throat hurts like a muthafuckin bitch right now. Like, it's not even funny how much it hurts. If I end up getting sick, I'm done. Over it. Goodbye world.
I don't wanna be at work right now, I wanna be in my bed snuggling with my cat and sleeping and dreaming about cool things like unicorns and kittens and blueberries.
My mother misplaced my favorite travel coffee mug that keeps warm things warm for a long time. I had to use this awful back up one and now my hot tea is cold tea.
Did I mention that it's Monday?
Yea. Fuck Monday's.
Maybe if I just chug this cold ass tea I'll have enough energy to conquer the ridiculous amount of work I have to do this morning.
If you're also having a bad day, here's a cute ass picture that might brighten your day.

Fight Night *dingdingding*

There was a fight tonight. With my family. Me vs Parentals.
It all started over an egg. An egg, y'all. AN ALMOST CHICKEN.
WHAT
THE
FUCK
This is my life, so yea. Fucking ayeeeee.