Last night shit got real

Last night. I had a very terrifying moment. It made me heart almost explode. So, I took a shower. Pretty normal stuff you know, lather, rinse, repeat, etc. Post shower drying was fairly normal. My cat was walking on the edge of the tub and I thought she got in the tub to lick the water. Keep in mind I'm blind as a fucking bat and obviously did not have on my glasses. So I felt the wet thing on the back of my right calf. I thought somehow my cats tail got wet and rubbed against my leg. But then I looked down and saw that my cat wasn't close enough to my legs for that to happen and that was when I noticed a weird blob looking thing on my leg. It was a motherfucking tree frog. Like, why in the actual fuck was it in my shower? Like, what a fucking perverted frog watching me shower then getting all up on my damn leg. No. So I attempted to capture it to save it because its a living being and I believe that everything deserves to live. This motherfucker. It jumped off of me and out of the shower and BOOM my cat was on it like white on rice. She likes to eat stuff, like geckos, and you better believe she wanted to eat that helpless little pervert frog. So my naked ass is trying to catch this frog and fight off the cat. After catching it, and it jumping away, then catching it again, I finally had a good enough grip on it and took off running through my house to the front door (incredibly naked). I threw it out of my house and yelled "GOOD LUCK, PERV". Then I went back and finished drying off. Shortly after my heart was beating regularly again, I went the fuck to sleep. But like really though, how on earth did a fucking tree frog get in my bathtub? It's a tree frog, not a bathtub frog, not a bathroom frog, not a shower frog. Why the FUCK was it in my shower? These are the questions that I'll probably never have an answer for. Oh, life, you so silly.