My Mother....

One of these days... When, not if, but WHEN I get into the car accident that kills me, I'm going to be hanging on by a thread and have JUST barely enough life left to call my mother and tell her what to do with my cat after I'm gone.. Oh, and I guess that I like, love her and junk.. So this is how that phone call will go:
*riiiing*
*riiiing*
*riiiing*
*riiiing*
"Your call has been forwarded to the automated voicemail box of 210......"
And then, *gasp* I am dead. Just like that, dead.
And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna float on over to that woman and I'm gonna ghost slap the ever loving shit out of that woman that's what I'm gonna do. But since I'm all ghost-like and what not and won't be able to physically make contact, it'll end up being just small *whoosh* of air. You better believe I'm gonna make that lil whoosh of air count. This new lil ghostie is not gonna get a running start, but a good & long floating start. I'm gonna float slap that woman so damn hard it'll feel like the eye of hurricane Ike is on her forehead.
That's what she's gonna get for not answering my phone call when I die.